Thursday, February 24, 2011

DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?

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The Dark Side Of Nyerere’s Legacy, By Ludovick. S. Mwijage
Posted on September 11, 2006 by cerengeti| 7 Comments

TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE, AND REMAIN INCARCERATED THROUGHOUT AFRICA, MY HEARTFELT THANKS FOR THEIR SUPPORT FOR DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM AND HUMAN RIGHTS AND MY SON, MUSHOBOZI, WITH THE SINCERE WISH THAT HE WILL, IN TIME, LIVE IN A HOMELAND GOVERNED WISELY AND WELL BY DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED LEADERS. CONTENTS Mbabane, Swaziland 1 Abduction 20 A Whiff of Prison 27 Inside Machava 33 Journey to Tanzania 45 Interrogation 49 Journey to Dar-es-Salaam 57 The Dark Side of Nyerere’s Legacy 59 Life in the Camp 87 Release from Solitary Confinement 98 Banishment Order 111 Escape to Freedom 113 Leaving Portugal 119 The first multi-party election 131 Epilogue 134 Mbabane, Swaziland It was a Wednesday, December 6, 1983. A friend and I had just finished a frugal lunch in a shed next to a butchery in Mbabane, Swaziland, opposite the Swazi Observer newspaper. We had bought meat from the butchery, roasted it, and then eaten it with hard porridge. It was a popular place where people would meet for a midday meal and chat. I had just lunched with a Kenyan friend, John Cartridge, who had been in Swaziland for several days, stranded. His version of how he ended in this predicament was not entirely coherent, though it sounded circumstantial. He said he had been working in Lesotho, another Southern African kingdom, as a motor mechanic and businessman. Cartridge even boasted of having repaired the official car of King Moshoeshoe II, the Lesotho monarch who died in 1996. He said he was stranded because his passport had been impounded by a local hotel where he and a Malawian business associate had failed to pay their bills from a previous visit. Rumour had it that Cartridge’s passport had indeed been impounded by the hotel, but only after a business deal with the hotel turned sour. Cartridge and his partner had apparently tried to sell petrol economisers to the hotel’s manager. As it turned out, the economisers proved quite useless to the manager and, according to some sources, he then decided to keep Cartridge’s passport in the hope of recovering his money. Cartridge strenuously denied this claim. Whatever the truth, it was because Cartridge’s passport had been impounded that he was unable to proceed home. It was at this time that I first got to know him, through another Kenyan expatriate who was then working with Posts and Telecommunications as an accountant in Mbabane. I had come to Swaziland from Nairobi in April 1983 to seek refuge after a spate of arrests in Tanzania, my home country, in January. Julius Nyerere’s government was arresting people it accused of dissension. I considered myself unsafe in Nairobi because of the proximity of Tanzania and because of threats I had received before the Kenyan authorities transferred me to Thika Refugee Reception Centre. A benign German Catholic church minister at Thika town had given me 4200 Kenya shillings, enough to cover the price of a one-way air ticket out of Kenya to Khartoum, Sudan. But two of my fellow countrymen in a similar situation to mine were still traversing Uganda, short of cash and hoping to reach Juba, southern Sudan. Uganda was unsafe; there were still many Tanzanian security officials in the country after their invasion in 1979. I decided to divide the money between my two colleagues and sent it through a courier, to ensure they left Uganda at once. I then contacted friends in Europe to enable me to leave Kenya, where I had arrived on 28 February, 1983. I had by now decided against going to Khartoum but had settled for Swaziland. Friends in the Nienburg Teachers’ Union in the (then) Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) arranged to have my ticket paid and advised me where to collect it. After picking up the ticket at Lufthansa’s offices in Nairobi, I returned to Thika Refugee Reception Centre to bid farewell to friends, all of them fellow African refugees. I also felt inclined to thank the authorities at the centre for the great kindness and courage they displayed in working with refugees. I then went to Nairobi to thank the Tanzanian women’s community who had hidden me from the day I crossed into the capital until I was transferred to Thika centre. In those early days in Kenya the Tanzanian women paid for my room at a guest-house they believed was safe; they also gave me money for small items. I was deeply moved by the love, care and concern they showed for me, and felt proud of this wonderful part of the African cultural heritage. Out of concern for own security, I bade farewell without saying when I was leaving Kenya and where I was going. I thought of the old African saying, “Never spill millet in the midst of hens”, and believed my hostesses understood my behaviour and would forgive me. I have always wondered how I managed to fly from Jomo Kenyatta international airport without arousing suspicion. I had no baggage; all I had was a paper bag containing a telex from Germany, several letters from Tanzanian friends, a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, and a singlet and change of underwear. ******* Having no baggage to claim, I proceeded through customs at Matsapha airport, Swaziland, without delays, thanks largely to holding a Commonwealth passport. I did not require a visa and had no cause to explain my situation to Swazi officials. I proceeded to Mbabane, the capital, taking a ride with an Eritrean UN official who had collected a relation from the same flight. By the time I arrived in Mbabane it was late afternoon, and I noted that the following day was a public holiday. Finding accommodation was my main concern as I wandered aimlessly along Allister Miller Street, Mbabane’s main road. As I passed Jabula Inn, a main road hotel, a lean man who looked to be in his late fifties or early sixties emerged. Apparently he had detached himself from a group of people he was conferring with in the hotel foyer. He wore a fez hat and was far too dark to be Swazi (most Swazis are light in complexion). His right hand held a set of joined beads which he counted quickly and repeatedly, as if he was meditating or praying although he continued to talk with people as he did this. He gesticulated and looked at me as if he recognised me. I returned the look, thinking I recognised him from somewhere. We exchanged glances and it occurred to me that I knew the man, but I couldn’t recall from where. He made the first move, greeting me in Swahili. I returned his greeting, surging forward to shake his hand. There was no doubt the man I had just greeted was the renowned Nairobi-based Tanzanian astrologer, Sheikh Yahya Hussein. Now I remembered seeing his pictures in newspapers almost every day, advertising his trade, although I could never work out how he recognised someone like me he had never seen before. Hussein invited me to his room, cutting through a long queue of people who had come to consult him. He was, as he frequently told the Swazi press, a prophet, faith-healer, palm-reader and fortune-teller, not merely an astrologer who could determine the influence of the planets on human affairs. He even told the local media that King Hussein of Jordan was one of his clients, and he provided them with a photograph of him shaking hands with the monarch. This, of course, generated more business for him. Hussein led me into his room with quick, short strides, nodding at people in the queue. He was booked in Room 1 at Jabula Inn and had a room-within-a-room inside his quarters. This provided him with the space he needed: one room for consultancy, the other for his private sleeping quarters. He invited me into his private room; it seemed there was someone else in the consultation room. A beautiful woman, about half Hussein’s age, sat on the unkept bed, seemingly vegetating. She held a can of Castle Beer which seemed empty. Hussein talked briefly to the man in the other room, then joined us. Africans generally respect elders as sages of infinite wisdom. Hussein’s professional standing and the trust others confided in him encouraged me to tell all. Moreover, he had the title of sheikh, which, with its spiritual overtones, projected a sense of moral purity and authority. To my surprise, he knew quite a bit about my situation. Before I had finished my story Hussein telephoned the receptionist and asked her to come to his room. A tall, well-built woman with big eyes arrived and Hussein instructed her to give me a room for several nights at his expense. She agreed, but said the vacant room had to be tidied up. As we waited Hussein asked me to place my paper bag, which I still nursed on my lap, under his bed. He wanted me to go and buy some articles for him. On my return I picked up my paper bag and, being very tired, proceeded to the room Hussein had hired for me. It was there that I realised that some items were missing: the telex from Germany; the letter I had received from a friend, Amos Ole Chiwele, a refugee recognised by the UN; and the cover of my air ticket. I hastily returned to Hussein’s room hoping to retrieve these items, which I nevertheless doubted could have fallen out of the packet. A thorough check under Hussein’s bed revealed no trace of the missing items. Hussein supervised as I searched the bed, all the time claiming that nobody had touched my bag during my absence. I did not at any time imply this might have occurred. The items had unfortunately disappeared, rather mysteriously. Swaziland granted me political asylum within weeks. But due to other factors which I had overlooked in Kenya – Tanzanian troops were stationed next door in Mozambique – the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), in Mbabane, was working hard to find a country in which I could be permanently settled. Indeed, on the day Cartridge and I lunched together I had only one and a half months in which to leave for resettlement in Canada. ********* Having completed our lunch, Cartridge glanced at his watch like someone about to miss an important appointment. I wondered aloud if he was pushed for time. He said he wasn’t and suggested we go for a cold beer at the Mediterranean Restaurant. I considered it a reasonable idea. The Mediterranean Restaurant is situated on Allister Miller Street, in uptown Mbabane, and was owned by people of Asian origin from what was then the People’s Republic of Mozambique. The restaurant offered well-grilled Mozambique prawns and generally had a superb menu. In a country like Tanzania, with its rampant poverty, the Mediterranean would have ranked as a restaurant unfit for second-class citizens. In Swaziland, where abject poverty is minimal, it was a place for everyone. It was hot and sunny, typical of Mbabane at that time of year. We felt instantly relieved as we arranged ourselves on the raised bar seats. Cartridge ordered the first drinks, we sipped, then switched to East African politics. I forget who initiated the discussion, but recall that it continued for some time and attracted a lot of listeners. We dwelt on Nyerere’s popular thesis that black Africans are born socialists. Cartridge insisted that Nyerere, by introducing “Ujamaa”, was trying to enhance our traditional roots and values. I replied that if Africans were naturally socialists, there was no point in trying to convert them to what they were already supposed to be. Cartridge listed what he thought was Nyerere’s achievements: unity; leaps forward in literacy; the provision of rudimentary health services; water for rural areas, and so on. I replied that these were not necessarily achievements that could be attributed to “Ujamaa” or a political system which prohibited other parties. I cited countries such as Botswana, Mauritius, Senegal, and even Egypt as having achieved much the same, without declaring themselves socialists, and under democratic systems that allowed political parties to operate. My contention was that no achievement could justify the existence of a dictatorial system of government: dictatorships deprive people of their liberty. I argued that Tanzania’s achievements under Nyerere were in danger of being eroded because the system lacked permanent democratic institutions. No machinery existed for the smooth transfer of power from one group to another; nor was there any means for citizens to point out their leaders’ mistakes before those mistakes assumed disastrous proportions. I pointed out to Cartridge that the absence of democratic values in Tanzania and Africa generally would give the impression of a dangerous continent, perpetually unpredictable. Such an environment was not conducive to economic growth and social progress and would frighten investors and donors alike. A stable and relatively predictable Africa would be attractive to investors, who would be more willing to invest in industry. Africa would prosper, where now it suffers political and economic deprivation. To drive my point even further, I told Cartridge that “Ujamaa” was Nyerere’s single-minded ideology; Tanzanians would soon start wondering what the experiment was all about. Cartridge and I then turned to the debt crisis facing Africa. I argued against always blaming external factors: donor nations, the international economic order, and even colonialism, although some of these arguments are valid. The fact is that when the colonialists left about thirty years ago, Africans were left with the resources to develop themselves into nations at least as resilient as before colonialism. Unfortunately, this did not happen. Moreover, the management of internal policies is just as important as how Sub-Saharan governments handle their external debt. It is not too late to develop Sub-Saharan countries into viable, mature nations. The primary task of governments is to create viable economies. Yet, with endless infighting and dependence on foreign subsidies, the assertions of African leaders that they control their countries and their futures is greatly diminished. Failed African economies do much to bolster the claim to credibility of South Africa’s largely white-managed economy, which outshines any other on the continent. As I expounded my ideas to Cartridge, I became quite oblivious of my surroundings. Suddenly I realised that a short, brown woman was standing in front of us, her eyes firmly set on us as if she was preparing to make a point. ******** The woman in the tight-fitting skirt introduced herself as Lindiwe (Years later, my efforts to find her proved futile). I was uncertain whether she had been there throughout our conversation; nor could I work out whether she had been serving us all along or if she had come to replace another staff member. We exchanged greetings with Lindiwe, who promptly proposed to accompany us after she finished work at 4pm. Cartridge and I were caught off-guard by her proposal, and Lindiwe seemed reluctant to be turned down. Such behaviour is rare from African women, and is provocative and challenging. Cartridge and I probed each other’s faces to try establish who Lindiwe had her eye on; her frequent smiles and flirty manner suggested I was the target. After 4pm we proceeded with Lindiwe to Msunduza township, where I had secured accommodation at a youth centre paid for by UNHCR. My room was tiny but neat, with a wooden double-decker bed, a small table and chair, and a reading light. We had some beers which we concealed in paper bags – the youth centre, run by a church organisation, did not allow the consumption of alcohol on its premises. Lindiwe did not drink at all that day. I obtained some cups from the matron, who later joined us with two seamstresses from the youth centre. As we talked and joked, I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was Jo. I had briefly known Jo, and he was something of an enigma to me. I had met him two days earlier in Manzini, Swaziland’s second largest town. The events preceding that meeting with Jo, with the knowledge of hindsight, need repeating. A friend of mine (at least I thought so then), Colonel Ahmed Mkindi, Tanzania’s military attache in Zimbabwe, had persuaded me to move to Manzini, claiming that my security was threatened if I remained at one place for too long. I told him I would confer with UNHCR officials; he objected, saying UNHCR lacked the resources to afford the comfortable abode he had in mind and was prepared to pay for. That day, Mkindi really looked concerned about my safety. During his visits to Swaziland Mkindi would put forward various proposals to me, ranging from obtaining Libyan assistance in setting up a clandestine radio station, to reactivating the group of young Tanzanians clamouring for political and economic change. I always replied that he should sell those ideas to people in Tanzania. I also made clear my objection to obtaining any form of assistance from an idiosyncratic regime such as Libya. Colonel Mkindi and I never felt free with each other. We did not talk like compatriots holding similar political opinions, let alone like comrades in arms. He contradicted himself constantly, and he had that perpetual worried look of a person of questionable character. He would introduce sensitive political topics about Tanzania, and then be unable to hold eye contact during the discussion. His eyes would rotate sideways, like someone in possession of stolen goods. I remember one day when Mkindi jetted in from Harare and came directly to the youth centre to find out what progress had been made regarding my departure for Canada. He proposed that, because I received only a small allowance from UNHCR, we should go to the Swazi Plaza to buy some food and he would pay. Mkindi bought me so much food and other items that it looked almost as if I was going to open a retail store at the youth centre. Far from being happy, I was shocked. He had even offered to buy me a bottle of whisky; I talked him out of it, saying such luxuries were best forgotten in exile. While we were loading the goods into his car, a Ugandan expatriate and friend of mine David Magumba Gwaita, suddenly appeared. I introduced Mkindi to my friend, but to my amazement Mkindi appeared in a panic. Even my Ugandan friend noticed that Mkindi had suddenly become disorientated, but we could not work out why. Magumba thanked Mkindi for his care and concern and offered to accompany us to the youth centre to help unload the items. As my Ugandan friend followed us, Mkindi explained his sudden change of mood: he said he did not wish to be seen in my company, as this could result in terrible consequences if it was reported to Tanzania. I was not convinced. He had come to see me many times and had acted as “courier” between me and some people in Tanzania. Many Tanzanians in Swaziland, including some he might have had reason to fear, had seen us together. Mkindi was, for example, a friend of Ahmed Kombe, who at that time worked as a teacher at the Institute of Health Sciences in Mbabane. On one occasion Mkindi extended an invitation to me from Kombe to have dinner. For several hours after dinner at Kombe’s house we discussed the political situation in Tanzania, critically analysing the appalling economic conditions and growing poverty. A week after that dinner a junior Tanzanian army officer stationed in Mozambique had brought a personal message from one of our compatriots in Maputo. This young army man was himself sympathetic to our cause. His message basically implied that Ahmed Kombe was the brother of the Director of Intelligence (DI) in Tanzania. On the day Mkindi purchased groceries for me, I asked him if this was true. He reacted without any astonishment. Ahmed Kombe’s brother, Amran Kombe, then held the rank of brigadier. Since Mkindi himself held a high military rank, I would have expected he would know Amran Kombe well, even if he did not know or approve of his past activities. I also found it surprising that Mkindi was unaware that Ahmed Kombe was his colleague’s brother. “You don’t seem surprised to know that Ahmed Kombe is Brigadier Kombe’s brother?” I asked him as we silently headed towards the youth centre in Msunduza township. “Er… what? No… sure I am,” he replied rather absent-mindedly. When I asked how much he knew of Brigadier Kombe, Mkindi replied that he knew him only in a “professional context.” I made a note of that phrase. “Professional context? Does it mean that you too work for the secret service?” I inquired. He seemed distressed and failed totally to maintain eye contact; his face had a guilt-ridden appearance. Finally, he attempted to ingratiate me by saying I was an “intelligent, perceptive young man”. I cut him short before he could finish, as I thought he had resorted to this tactic to evade an important matter. His avoidance of the question prompted me to dwell on it. Mkindi now said that by “professional context” he had meant that both he and Brigadier Kombe were in the army. “Amran and I are soldiers,” he said, mopping his sweating face with his right palm. But he referred to the Director of Intelligence informally, by his first name, rather than by his rank or surname. To me, this suggested that Mkindi knew Brigadier Kombe better than he cared to admit. The alarm went off and, for the first time, I started to become worried. The previous month the Attorney-General of Swaziland, Patrick Makanza, himself a Tanzanian, held a christening ceremony for his young son. Among those present were Mkindi, who sat next to me, and Ahmed Kombe, who was busy taking photographs. I soon realised that Kombe had taken more pictures of me and Mkindi than of anyone else. Yet this never seemed to bother Mkindi, in spite of his later claim in front of my Ugandan friend that he did not want to be seen with me. After all, my Ugandan friend had nothing to do with Tanzanian politics, and I told Mkindi he had no reason to worry. But it was the day Mkindi bought me groceries that he finally persuaded me to move to Manzini. His argument was that he feared for my safety at the youth centre. The next morning Mkindi arrived at the youth centre with a man he introduced as his friend a former white Rhodesian (now Zimbabwe) who had since moved to South Africa. We loaded most of my belongings into the Rhodesian man’s truck. I was unsure I was doing the right thing, but for the security scare fed to me by Mkindi. For this reason I even refrained from informing the UNHCR of my move, since I wasn’t sure I would stay very long in Manzini. We stopped at many places on our way to Manzini. At each stop Mkindi would demand to eat something; he would also drink tea with a lot of sugar. He seemed unconcerned about controlling his eating, given that he was a fat man. We pulled up at a boarding house in Manzini owned by a woman of mixed ancestry (coloured). It was situated on the left corner on the way to William Pitcher Teachers’ College. It was a large room with two wide windows and good ventilation. Mkindi paid the full board for the month, and then demanded a receipt which he kept in his pocket. He had seemed particularly keen to retain the receipt; when I suggested that I should keep the receipt, he refused. No, he said, he wanted to keep it as a “souvenir”. He might have thought he was making a joke, but I failed to buy his “souvenir” talk. My suspicion about his real intentions intensified. For instance, when I asked him how he had got to know of the guest house he wanted me to put up at, he answered that he had once spent a night there. But that did not offer a direct answer to my question. The guest house was an isolated, quiet place with hardly any boarders – three at the most. Moreover, I was not convinced that a senior diplomat, in normal circumstances, would have spent a night at a guest house on the outskirts of town, rather than in a hotel in the town centre. Even if Mkindi’s story was believable, it did not explain why he had spent so much money buying food and other items for me. After all, he should have known that the place he wanted me to book into offered full boarding facilities. The next morning I decided to go to Mbabane to collect my mail, which came through the offices of UNHCR. I still thought it was premature to inform them I had moved to Manzini. As I waited for a bus in front of Uncle Charlie’s Motel, a white Volkswagen Golf car stopped in front of me. The lone driver lowered his window and invited me in. He was short and wore an unruly beard, like a student of Marxism-Leninism. Noticing that I was hesitant, he introduced himself as he talked through the lowered window. He said he had seen me several times at the youth centre, where he claimed he went to visit a friend. He mentioned the name of a person I knew, a refugee from South Africa. By mentioning the name of someone in the same boat as me, he established his credentials. I got into the car. “My name is Joshua. People call me Jo. It saves time.” I told him my name. He said he recognised me, and that was why he had stopped. He said he never stopped for people he did not know; I said that with crime on the increase he could lose his car at gunpoint. “This is it,” he said, and started driving aimlessly towards a local hospital. “But this is not the way to Mbabane,” I thought. He asked me if I was in a hurry, and replied that I was. He excused himself, saying he wanted to talk to a friend “for a few minutes” before heading to Mbabane. As it turned out, it was not to be a few minutes. Jo kept driving aimlessly around the area known as Two Sticks, stopping at several houses before he finally decided to drive to Mbabane. He had offered to give me a ride in the afternoon and had told me he would be going back to Manzini. Later I decided to take a bus back to Manzini; I had forgotten about him altogether. But he did not seem to have forgotten me. That night I did not sleep, wondering why I had come to Manzini. Suspicion centred not only on Colonel Mkindi, but also on Manzini’s proximity to Mozambique. Manzini is closer to Maputo than Mbabane is. During the night I decided that the reasons Mkindi had given why I ought to move were flimsy. Idecided this would be my last night in Manzini. Early next morning I called a taxi, packed my items, and headed for the bus rank. An hour later I was back in Mbabane, at the youth centre. Now here was Jo standing at my door, barely twenty-four hours since I had left Manzini. I told the landlady in Manzini that I had decided to leave, but did not tell her where I was going. I did not even ask for a refund of the money Mkindi had paid for the accommodation. The big question was: How did Jo know I had gone back to the youth centre? Unless, of course, he had gone to where I had briefly put up in Manzini and been told I had checked out. Possibly he had come to see if I had come back to the youth centre. But the questions persisted. How did he know where I had lived in Manzini? I had never mentioned it to him. Besides, we were not friends, and I did not know where he lived, nor did I wish to know. If he had gone to Manzini to look for me, what were his reasons? We were not friends and had nothing in common. These thoughts raced through my mind when I opened the door and found myself facing Jo. I tried to dismiss my suspicions lest I should become paranoid. I invited him in and gave him my seat and a cup of beer I had in my hand. He greeted the others in the room, then blamed me for having left Manzini without telling him. He inquired: “My friend, why didn’t you tell me you were leaving Manzini?” “Did I have to?!”, I replied in a sharp voice. Suddenly the room fell silent as everyone seemed to want to listen to the conversation. All eyes shifted to me; I immediately realised that the others in my room had not followed the exchange between Jo and myself. They had heard my question and it sounded impolite. I tried to correct their impression by saying that I did not mean to be rude to Jo; I had left Manzini for reasons of my own. It was hot in Manzini, more so than in Mbabane, I told Jo. Lindiwe agreed. Jo said he had thought he would look me up to see how I was doing, and I replied that it was very kind of him. My attention then shifted to the three women who had been in my room; they stood up and made for the door. ******** Everybody was leaving. The two seamstresses and the matron said they had finished their work and were going to tend to family affairs. Jo claimed he was going back into town to collect photographs for a friend he said was at the University of Swaziland. I could not understand why he had not collected the photographs on his way to the youth centre; after all, the friend in question often passed through the youth centre. Jo then suggested that he would check the youth centre again before going back to Manzini. I declined to say he should not, since I had not asked him in the first instance to come and see me. John Cartridge now excused himself, saying he needed to meet someone at Jabula Inn. I thought his departure was intended to be tactful, in order to give Lindiwe and myself a chance to speak freely and privately. I had persuaded him to stay until we could see Lindiwe off, but he refused. I also asked Cartridge to phone my girlfriend, Imelda Khumalo, who was due to finish work shortly and expected me to meet her in town. I had provided him with her telephone number and instructions that I would be meeting her in about one and a half hours. Imelda was pregnant at the time and it was imperative that I should spend some time with her. I was worried that if I was late in meeting her she would show up at the youth centre and wonder what Lindiwe was doing in my room. On the other hand, I did not want to hurt Lindiwe’s feelings by asking her to leave before she wished to. Jo returned just as I prepared to see Lindiwe off. He offered to take us into town; on the way Lindiwe asked if I would buy her some Kentucky Friend Chicken. At Kentucky, after I had bought the chicken, I found to my surprise that Jo had paid for it before I could. I did not know whether Jo and Lindiwe knew each other, but a shrewd observer would have concluded they were at least familiar to each other. Why had Jo decided to entertain my visitor? Without unduly worrying further, I concluded that Jo was perhaps trying to catch her eye. We dropped Lindiwe at her workplace. “Take care you guys,’ she said as she got out of the car waving at us. By now Jo knew my timetable. With more than an hour left before my intended meeting with Imelda, he suggested I accompany him to the Swazi Spa in Ezulwini valley a fifteen minute drive from Mbabane. He said he was going to meet an uncle who had been attending a business meeting. He had established his credibility as an acquaintance, if not a friend, of a refugee like me, a stranger in a foreign country who would value any friendly act to fill the void left by the absence of loved ones from home. I now regarded Jo as someone who showed a touch of humanity; perhaps he had taken his own precious time and the trouble to find out where I had moved to. I thought it would be unfair to let him down, and agreed to accompany him to the Swazi Spa. We had agreed he would bring me back immediately he had seen his uncle. But once he got behind the wheel he changed his mind, stamping hard on the accelerator to increase speed. He had suddenly remembered his girlfriend in Manzini who he claimed also wanted to see his uncle. He said it had been a long time since he last saw his uncle, who had gone to England some time ago and was now back in Swaziland for a business meeting with some executives from the UK. I found elements of his story contradictory but dismissed them, thinking I had misunderstood the whole thing from the start. He was now silent, driving fast, possibly preoccupied with thoughts of his girlfriend in Manzini. Once there, he parked outside an elegant apartment, from which a small girl babbled something to him through a window. The words had no meaning for me; they seemed to mean something to Jo. When the girl attempted to come over to the car to see the visitor, Jo hurriedly retrieved her. Later I believed this was an attempt to prevent her from blurting out something to me that he would not have liked. After waiting several minutes Jo’s girlfriend got into the car beside him. She did not turn to look or greet me, thought I did notice her studying me through the rearview mirror. Since she had found me in the car, I made no effort to initiate an exchange of greetings. More surprising, Jo, the friend who had requested that I accompany him, made not the slightest attempt to introduce us. Again, I found this most unusual, but then thought they might have had a quarrel. We hardly spoke as we drove back from Manzini to Ezulwini Valley. When Jo and his girlfriend spoke, it was in English, which I later discovered was designed to hide their native tongue. We pulled up at a parking lot reserved for guests of the Swazi Spa hotel. The hotel was big and luxurious, probably rating as Four Star. A man in uniform, very likely a porter, greeted us with a slight bow at the hotel entrance. The hotel was packed with people, some rattling slot machines in the casino, others buying tokens for roulette, and some sitting quietly drinking. I looked for a place to sit; Jo bought some tokens for the slot machine; his girlfriend had mingled with the crowd in the passageway and disappeared. Jo joined me, his hands full of tokens for the machines. There was nothing gained without venturing, he said. I said that even if I wanted to gain, I was doubtful whether I would opt for this type of venture. I watched him rattling the slot machines with their musical sounds, but no money was ejected. As he lost his last coin he screamed, “damn it”, and I knew he had lost his money. I watched his reaction. He looked devastated, thought he tried to suppress the expression on his face. His mouth seemed to have turned dry. I reminded him of what he had said – nothing ventured, nothing gained – but he seemed unprepared for cracks that teased him rather than showed sympathy for his loss. He thought I was being unnecessarily sarcastic. I then reminded him that he had come to see his uncle, not to venture. At the mention of his uncle he immediately moved away from the slot machines and said he was coming back shortly. He returned with two full glasses of what looked like gin. He invited me to take one from his outstretched hands, saying his uncle had given us gin. “Where is your uncle?”, I asked. “In the meeting,” he replied, adding that his uncle would be joining us shortly. I found this strange: his uncle buys us drinks without first asking what we drink. Still, I did not want to hurt my friend Jo by refusing his uncle’s drink. Perhaps this is due to the African mentality of doing something for the sake of appeasing someone you feel you ought to respect. I accepted the drink from Jo. But as I lifted the glass to say “Cheers”, I noticed the drink filled only about three-quarters of the glass. Did this include the dilution, I wondered. Maybe. Asking saves a lot of guesswork; strangely, on this occasion, I failed to ask. Before I could swallow my first sip, Jo announced that his girlfriend was in a hurry and had decided to take his car. He promised to take me back to Mbabane with his uncle before they returned to Manzini. I wondered whether his girlfriend had even seen his uncle, which was the sole purpose of her coming to Ezulwini. If the uncle was going to return to Manzini, why had she even bothered to come to the Swazi Spa? These questions, like all the others, seemed to have no satisfactory answers. Foolishly, I dismissed them as other people’s private matters which should not concern me. What a poor judge of character I was. I lifted my glass containing “gin” and drank from it. ************* Abduction I lay on my back in surroundings that looked wet with dew. It was dark and silent, with the occasional sound of frogs from nearby ponds. I tried to lift up my head but it was heavy; someone seemed to push me hard with a boot back to the ground. I thought I was dressed but couldn’t be quite sure. I lifted an arm to mop my face, to detect if I still had my spectacles on. I seemed to be wearing them. It seemed I was surrounded by people who spoke either Portuguese or English; I know both languages. The people around me looked like soldiers, with their guns pointed at me. But I could not figure out exactly what they were. Was this a dream, a vision, a nightmare. Perhaps a terrible nightmare, I concluded. Again and again I had this vision of men, three of them, one brandishing a pistol as they dragged me into a white Toyota car. The one with the pistol looked vicious and overweight. A jungle hat sat on his head, and he wore an overcoat. Another held what looked like a bayonet from a G-3 rifle. He looked like Jo, my companion for much of the day. The third man, a short fellow, pretended to be drunk and held a large red spotlight. I closed my eyes, then opened them, unable to comprehend anything. Someone around me then ordered that I be lifted up. Several pairs of hands held me and lifted me from the ground. I protested feebly that I should be left alone; the men hurled a barrage of insults at me. I now sat with my hands on my knees; soldiers cocked their guns, pointed them at me and surrounded me. Most of the soldiers had on worn-out boots from which their toes protruded; their combat fatigues also looked worn-out. Many smoked tobacco rolled in paper; their bodies reeked of sweat; their mouths stank whenever they opened them to speak. Most seemed to have had no contact with water for ages; they were dusty and clumsy in behaviour. I was now sure this was no nightmare. I was being kicked by soldiers speaking Portuguese. I felt weak, perhaps a hangover from the gin I had consumed at the Swazi Spa hotel. As it became brighter I surveyed the area; I spotted a distinctive building on the right-hand side. It had a vivid copper inscription in capital letters that read “Banco De Mocambique.” I stood for a few minutes, petrified. I had been abducted from Swaziland to Mozambique. ************ A soldier pushed me with a rifle butt, urging me to keep moving. He ordered me to put my hands above my head and obey all orders. I counted nine soldiers; they were joined by nine more as we started moving towards a nearby Frelimo camp. The new arrivals were harsh, kicking and hitting me with their rifle butts, shouting “bandido”, a Portuguese word for bandit, the term used by Frelimo to describe Renamo rebels. Jo suggested to the soldiers that they handcuff me as I was “too smart” and might try to escape. It is hard to describe how I felt towards Jo; revulsion is an understatement. I recall glaring at him with contempt, until Frelimo soldiers began to strike me with their rifle butts, ordering me to keep moving. Humans are a mystery. They can charm you, put on a special type of character, all to achieve their own ends. Once done, they return to their true colours. I could not come to terms with what Jo had done: yesterday he pretended to be my caring friend, even entertaining my visitor, Lindiwe, whom I now thought might herself have been part of the abduction; now Jo was my kidnapper. Frelimo soldiers now swarmed around Jo, congratulating him for his “hard work”, though I doubt many of them understood what was really happening. One soldier in the new section that had arrived shouted “Jenarali (Jo), you have pulled a big job”. Jenerali, or Jo, simply smiled. The fact that he was known to Frelimo soldiers by his nom de guerra suggested this was not the first mission he had pulled off. We turned off on the right-hand side of the Swaziland/Maputo road, into what looked like a mission school with a big cathedral. It was now clear that I had been abducted to the Mozambican border town of Namaacha. How we crossed Swaziland’s fenced border remained a mystery at that stage. I was led inside the mission school, now converted into a training camp, after sentries posted at the gate opened it for us. A once beautiful Catholic mission school was now a Frelimo army barracks, with the buildings falling apart. Classrooms had been turned into soldiers’ sleeping quarters and Frelimo offices. We entered one of the buildings overlooking the cathedral; it stank of urine and human excrement. Even as I was being led inside the building, three soldiers stood facing the wall urinating. I wondered how Frelimo soldiers managed to work in such an environment. I remember seeing a group of soldiers emerge from the cathedral with their uniforms wrinkled, almost as if they had slept in them. I doubted if the sanctity of the church was respected any longer. The room I was taken to had a Frelimo soldier slumbering behind a manual typewriter. Next to the typewriter was a black telephone, one of the old types with a rolling handle for calling the operator. A set of bicycles was clumped together against the wall; above them, on a string, hung a dozen or so manacles. At the far end of the room there hung a picture of Samora Machel, the first president of Mozambique, with his beard and gap-toothed stare. The floor was unswept and smelt of fungus. The room had now become crowded with Frelimo soldiers, many of whom had emerged from the cathedral. Some of the soldiers knew nothing of what had transpired and wanted to know where I was “going for training.” Apparently they thought I was a South African smuggled out of Swaziland for military training in a frontline state or elsewhere. One of their number, probably the man in charge, ordered my pockets searched. They found some Emalangeni bank-notes (Emalangeni is Swaziland’s currency), and from another pocket fished out my pocket diary and room key for the youth centre. I was particularly worried about my diary, which contained the names of several contacts in Tanzania who belonged to our group. I also recorded my daily activities; no doubt this would prove useful to the people who ordered my abduction. Surprisingly, the Frelimo soldier merely flicked through the pages of my diary, then asked where my photograph was fixed – he thought it was a passport. The soldier was illiterate; he could not distinguish a diary from a passport. I told him in English that the book he held was a diary, but he did not understand. He flung it on the table, where my money and room key were. I was then ordered to sit down on the floor. “Jenerali”, or Jo as I knew him, entered the room, talking slowly with his friends and a group of soldiers we had left behind. Then, quite unexpectedly and to my amazement, the soldier who had ordered me searched promptly ordered the leader of the abduction team to step forward. Jo, like a soldier about to receive a medal for bravery stepped forward. The Frelimo soldier duly ordered him to be thoroughly searched. For the man who had described himself as the “arresting officer”, such treatment was demeaning; it diminished his status before the prisoner he had arrested. The Frelimo man was a no-nonsense soldier: from Jo’s trouser back pocket he removed a Tanzanian alien Travel Document and threw it onto the table where my things were. I was disturbed to see my country’s travel document in the hands of an abductor, particularly my abductor. Over the years the Tanzanian government had indiscriminately issued Tanzanian passports to people not entitled to them, usually “freedom fighters” whose activities it supported. The Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) regime felt it was appropriate to issue our national passports to “freedom fighters”, to provide them with cover from detection and to facilitate easy travel in the course of their “liberation” duties. Some Tanzanians who favoured a non-violent approach were unhappy about this. Tanzania’s ruling CCM party (and the only party) played host to “freedom fighters” it recognised from Southern Africa and elsewhere, including some of Dr Milton Obote’s exiled entourage after Idi Amin had deposed Obote. Tanzanian opposition forces argue that CCM, which gave directives of this nature without legislative approval, is by such action confirmed to be a state party and not a mass party, as CCM liked to claim. Even more disgusting to me was the thought that people to whom Tanzanians had extended hospitality, and for whom we had made great sacrifices, particularly economically, were engaged in dirty activities and even spying on Tanzanians. That brings back memories of the first treason trial, in 1969, in which a South African exile, Potlake Rebalo, featured prominently as a state witness. Remember, too, the involvement of another South African known as Dumisani in the mysterious death in a road accident in 1984 of Tanzania’s only popular Prime Minister, Edward Moringe Sokoine. A strongly held view in Tanzania has it that Sokoine was “bumped off” for reasons of political expediency; moreover, it is claimed a South African was employed in order to avoid having to use a Tanzanian. After all, that might have provoked tribal sensitivities in a unitary country. The next to undergo the Frelimo search after Jo was the fat man in an overcoat. From under his arm the Frelimo man retrieved a pistol contained in a green cotton holster. This explained why he continued to wear an overcoat in such hot temperatures. The fat man had no money, nor any identification, which was perhaps understandable for someone carrying out the type of assignments he did. Better to cover your trail in case things go wrong. I was surprised that a man could leave his home with his pockets empty to carry out a mission such as this. It was almost as if he had set out to commit suicide. Was he perhaps Jo’s uncle who had attended a “business meeting” at the Swazi Spa? Maybe he was the man who had offered the “gin” that caused me to black out, leading to my abduction. The third man, who looked young and innocent, surrendered the red spotlight. Unlike his two compatriots, he had small pieces of paper in his pockets, something which suggested he was an amateur in the abduction business. His eyes and face lacked the zeal and portentousness so evident in his colleagues. The Frelimo official proceeded to ask Jo about my abduction. He wanted to know from Jo how he brought me through from Swaziland. Jo replied that it was through “the normal route”, his eyes darting from me to his interviewer. He seemed unsure about whether I understood Portuguese and refused to answer more questions; he told the Frelimo man he would do so once I was taken out of the room. Two armed Frelimo soldiers then led me, handcuffed, out of the building. By now it was clear to me that the “normal route” Jo had referred to was the one used to smuggle ANC (African National Congress) people out of Swaziland to Tanzania, via Mozambique, for military training. Once out of the room, I heard Jo speaking loudly, as if to someone far away; he said the “parcel” had been delivered to the border post at Namaacha. It seemed the Frelimo man spoke on the same line after Jo, but I could not work out whether they had spoken to the same person. I assumed they had spoken to someone in Maputo. Later, I was returned to the same room. Jo and his group were leaving, saying they would return once they had recovered their car from the bush where they had left it. I assumed they would use the same route to return to Swaziland, since they did not have proper travel papers. ************ A Whiff of Prison Early the next day, about 7 am, a short man in the dotted khaki uniform of Frelimo entered the room. The soldier who had ordered the body search the previous day called his juniors to attention. I considered that the order did not apply to me since I was handcuffed and could not come abruptly to attention. The short man was clearly in charge; he exuded an aura of authority and pride often associated with persons in authority approaching a stranger. He wore no shoulder identification to signify his rank; a small red belt across his shoulder suggested his seniority. He spoke Portuguese fast and fluently and seemed to have no manners at all. He seemed intent on displaying his power, barking out orders to his juniors as if they were his personal servants. He demanded to know my name, but I had decided I wasn’t going to speak Portuguese, which I knew, because I felt I had much to gain from learning what my captors were discussing. “I’m sorry officer,” I said in English. “I don’t speak Portuguese.” He stepped towards me, silent and unimpressed, took a white cloth from his pocket and tried to blindfold me, but it was too short for his purpose. He took a step back and in broken English asked me my name. Much to my surprise, after telling him who I was, he introduced himself as Comandante Mateus (pronounced Mateushi); he said I was being held at the request of some Tanzanian officials; he was awaiting further instructions from them on what to do with me. Mateus also told me he had that morning telephoned Wilfred Kiondo, a Tanzanian diplomat at Ujamaa House, the Tanzanian embassy in Maputo. Kiondo, now retired, was a low-ranking police officer during colonial rule. He joined the Tanzanian Intelligence Service (TIS) after independence, serving in many places, and spent some time with TAZARA (Tanzania Zambia Railway Authority) during construction of the railway line. Later he was transferred to Maputo as counsellor at the Tanzanian embassy. He was the man who coordinated the whole kidnap plan. Mateus said he could not do anything further about me until Kiondo contacted him. Two young Frelimo men then removed my handcuffs after Mateus ordered this. At his behest, they were to take me for breakfast at Namaacha hotel; he warned me not to try escape, as his men had been ordered to shoot me in the legs if I did. The two soldiers escorted me to the hotel, where a waiter offered us a breakfast menu containing only scrambled eggs and sausages. It seemed there was nothing else to offer. I tried a piece of sausage and some egg, but I could not taste anything. One of the Frelimo men gobbled up his meal in no time, then asked if I intended to finish my breakfast. When I replied that I had eaten enough, he drew my plate towards himself and devoured the contents. Comandante Mateus arrived later and ordered his breakfast. The waiters reacted promptly and obediently; I could never work out whether this was because they held him in high esteem, or whether they feared and loathed him. Perhaps all three? As we sat, Mateus warmed to me; he said he had been to Havana, Cuba, for military training; Castro was a great “revolutionary” leader who had achieved much for his country. I listened without offering any comment. Mateus said he returned to Africa from Cuba. His official car, by his own account, was a BMW which he frequently used on shopping trips to Swaziland. “You prefer shopping in Swaziland to Maputo?” I asked, smiling in order to encourage Mateus to talk. “Yes!” he replied, adding that this was because most consumer items were not obtainable in Mozambique. He blamed this on “imperialists” and the chronic shortage of foreign exchange in Mozambique. “It’s a problem, a very big problem,” he said, his pride visibly hurt. “Then Mozambique is not like the Cuba you praise,” I said. Mateus nodded his head as he pushed away his plate with the remnants of his breakfast. Cuba, he said, was already a socialist country; Mozambique would one day be a “truly socialist” country, given the guidance of “our vanguard Frelimo party.” He wiped his mouth with a white cloth he drew from his pocket – the same cloth he had earlier tried to blindfold me with. He moved from topic to topic; my mind was far away, wondering what awaited me in Dar-es-Salaam. Two cars and a Landrover had already arrived at the Namaacha Frelimo camp by the time we returned from breakfast. It was clear I was going to be taken to Maputo by road. One of Mateus’ deputies beckoned to me to claim my personal effects from the table where they were mixed with those of my abductors. This particular officer seemed incapable of reading, or he just didn’t care. He handed me Jo’s passport, saying “take your passport with you.” He knew I was the only Tanzanian around, and might have thought that the first Tanzanian document he spotted was mine. I used the chance to identify my captor and to note some of his personal particulars (if indeed they were true). His name was entered as Malcolm Zhugo and, according to the document, he was a mechanic by profession. Not wanting to raise the suspicion of the Frelimo man, I quickly turned to the visa pages of the passport. Jo had travelled quite extensively: there were several “entry” and “exit” endorsements, mostly for Swaziland, but also of other Southern African states. By having a Tanzanian passport, Malcolm Zhugo enjoyed relative freedom of movement in Commonwealth countries in Africa. I returned Malcolm Zhugo’s passport to the officer and told him my passport was that small black book on the table – my pocket diary containing my personal effects, including my room key and some money. I then pretended I had a sudden stomach ache and asked if I could be taken to the toilet; I needed to destroy several pages of the diary lest I incriminated people still in Tanzania. The toilet was outside the camp’s gate, which perhaps explained why the camp itself was littered with human excrement. Two armed Frelimo soldiers escorted me to a ramshackle latrine made of corrugated iron sheets. Inside, logs were placed on top of the pit, with a small, narrow space left in the middle for the user to position himself. One soldier, his AK-47 ready, stood in front of the latrine, the other behind. They seemed positioned to prevent my possible escape; to my relief, they were less interested in what I did inside the latrine. My room key from the Youth Centre in Mbabane was the first item to find its way down the pit. I was afraid my abductors might use it to gain entry to my room, and remove documents that could be used against me. The next thing to go down the pit was my pocket diary, though only the pages which contained names and details of my contacts in Tanzania. I thought it unwise to dispose of the whole diary, yet I did not want to bring trouble for friends in Tanzania. I tore out the relevant pages chewed them, then spat them into the latrine to ensure nothing could be retrieved. I satisfied myself that the diary now contained only names which could not be connected to me politically. I returned the diary to my pocket and left the latrine. *********** Commandante Mateus arranged us into two cars which had arrived from Maputo. Two plain-clothes men, possibly Tanzanians, hovered around but did not take an active role in the proceedings. I was put into a Landrover positioned between two white Rada cars with radio communication equipment. Again handcuffs were snapped on; four armed soldiers sat around me at the back of the vehicle. Mateus sat in front, adjusting his military cap using the rearview mirror, then signalled the convoy to get moving. We passed many road blocks on the way to Maputo; I worried about security on the road. Those were the days when Renamo, a guerrilla movement opposed to Frelimo’s Marxist rule, had increased its rebel activities along this road, attacking convoys at random, whether of the military variety or otherwise. If that had happened on this day, I would probably have been a victim: unarmed and handcuffed, I would have been helpless in a normal road accident; how much more so in a rebel attack? Somewhere in downtown Maputo we pulled up at what looked to be an ordinary flat. Inside was anything but normal: people, some handcuffed, others not, sat around apparently unaware of when they would be released, if at all. Opposite one of the male rooms I noticed a young woman taking a shower in a group. I was ordered to sit on an empty mattress cover, from where I watched the men in the crowded room sweating profusely. Nearby me sat two young men who had been arrested for their religious activities, both clasping their bibles determinedly; they were not going to enter their graves without their bibles. I thought it rather poignant that someone should suffer so much just for a belief he holds. Frelimo had its own religion – Marxism – and seemed quite content to deny others their religious freedom in the name of Marxism. I wondered just how long it would take Frelimo to lose its own freedom, as they encroached on the freedom of others. Comandante Mateus returned with the two plain-clothes men I had noticed at Namaacha. Having ditched any trace of courtesy and tact, he proceeded to rough-handle me, shouting in Portuguese as he pushed me towards the Landrover that had brought us. It seemed somebody had given him good reason to hate me, and he wasted no time in showing it. I was “intellectually arrogant”, he said, but Machava would knock this arrogance out of me. I wondered what on earth Machava was. The trip in the Landrover gave a foretaste of what it could be like: two soldiers lay me down on the back of the vehicle, pressed me down hard, and covered my face with a hat. The Landrover screeched off and moved fast for some time; then we came to an abrupt halt and the driver cut the engine. I was taken out and ordered to sit down until given further orders. As I looked around, I noticed I was inside a prison compound. I was at Machava maximum security prison. *********** Inside Machava Thursday afternoon, December 7, 1983. I felt weak and dejected as Mateus and his men ordered me to accompany them to the prison offices. In the corridor we passed several prisoners awaiting interrogation, most of them handcuffed with their hands above their heads. One coloured prisoner had dropped asleep, or possibly collapsed from exhaustion, falling in the middle of the corridor. The Frelimo soldiers were unperturbed, scarcely noticing; some kicked him, demanding that he stand up, but none cared to lift him up. The man was perspiring profusely. I was told to sit down on the floor facing my interviewer, a young Frelimo man flanked by two colleagues. The room was bare except for the chair the man sat on and a table containing only a scrap of paper with my particulars, or possibly for the Frelimo man to write on. There was nothing else, not even a pin. He studied me, then asked in English: “Are you Ludovick Mwichaje?” I replied that I wasn’t, and his face was a mixture of bewilderment and anger. “What do you mean?” he asked, frowning. I repeated that that was not my name; he looked at his colleagues, puzzled, then back at the paper. He studied it closer this time, then broke into a triumphant smile: “Your name is misspelt,” he said, and I replied that I was not sure. He demanded I spell my name and, after some hesitation, I asked him whether he did not need to interview Ludovick Mwichaje before speaking to Ludovick Mwijage. I had wasted my time, and he was quite clear: “It’s you we need ,” he said. The Frelimo man took down my personal particulars, including my address in Tanzania and Swaziland. Then, pointing with his pen to a blue prison uniform, he ordered that I change into it as I was now going down to the cell. Since he spoke understandable English, I asked him about my legal status at the prison and whether the Frelimo government had any charges against me. He said I was being detained on the orders of the Tanzanian government. Some Tanzanian officials would soon be coming to speak to me, but he didn’t know when. After changing into the prison uniform, the Frelimo man ordered that I be handcuffed again. I protested, arguing that since I would be in a prison cell there was no purpose in having me handcuffed. The Frelimo man said they had their own modus operandi; besides, he insisted, I was being held in Machava on the express orders of Tanzanian officials representing their government in Maputo. ********* Machava contained about seven blocks which were known to the inmates as “pavilions.” I think it is one of the best fortified prisons in Africa. The high walls surrounding the prison were manned around the clock by a sentry armed with a machine gun. Machava’s “pavilions” contained cells on either side, separated by a large passageway. The cells were overcrowded: in “pavilion” no 7, where I was held, some cells had as many as six prisoners. Prison seemed to be the only nationalised industry in Mozambique that was functioning. Prisoners who were not confined to their cells during the day would cling to the bars of the “pavilion”, to breathe fresh air, and even this was a special privilege. I estimated my cell was about 11ft by 13ft. There was no toilet, not even a bucket to urinate or pass motion; the floor was bare, without any blankets; there was nothing to read, and strict instructions were issued that I should be locked in solitary confinement; I was only allowed to go to the collective toilet; at night the mosquitoes feasted on me, and I could not scare them off because of my handcuffs. My diet consisted of boiled rice and fried fish; sometimes there was simply no lunch or dinner because, as I was told later, there was a food shortage in Mozambique. In the mornings I would get black tea with a doughnut, sometimes nothing at all. Every morning for ten minutes I was allowed out of my cell to pass water and wash my face; but washing my face proved difficult with handcuffs. Lights blazed day and night, their controllers oblivious to the lack of electricity elsewhere in Mozambique. I felt as if I was in a grave, buried alive. ******** This was the second time I had been in detention, the first going back to August 1971 when I was a student teacher at Morogoro. I was detained at Morogoro merely for expressing a political opinion. I had been appointed editor-in-chief of Mhonda college’s newsletter, which, as it turned out, never got off the ground anyway. Basically, the newsletter intended to reflect the thinking of the college community, using articles from students and staff. But an English lecturer had insisted that all articles be censored before publication. I strongly disagreed, setting him and myself on a collision course. When Idi Amin deposed Dr Milton Obote in a Ugandan military coup in 1971, I took the liberty of writing an editorial comment on political developments in Uganda and the effect on neighbouring states. I had studied at secondary school in Uganda and took a keen interest in developments in that country. I held the view that Obote, whom the Tanzanian government chose to support, was his own worst enemy: he initiated a dictatorial trend in Uganda, abolishing opposition parties and declaring himself executive president. His Uganda People’s Congress (UPC) had become the only “legitimate” party; Obote himself, some observers believed, was trying to emulate Tanzania’s style of leadership. So, in my yet unpublished editorial, I argued that Obote had actually allowed Amin to rise to power. After all, it was Obote who appointed Amin Chief of Defence Staff; yet he had the opportunity to give the post to someone better equipped than Amin. The editorial also touched on Nyerere’s frequent condemnation of the new Uganda regime; many students felt Nyerere was doing this merely to deflect attention from his own domestic problems and failures. Though the editorial was never published, government had gotten wind of it; they did not like it. I was roughed up in my dormitory one day by three plain-clothes security men who had arrived in the company of the college principal and the English lecturer who was acting as censor. I was taken to Morogoro for detention, and the college was shut. The student government was dissolved because, in the words of the college authorities, I had “great influence” over it. After being heavily interrogated for several days by the Tanzanian Intelligence Service (TIS), it was decided that I should be charged in a court of law with “common assault and causing actual bodily harm.” With this as the so-called holding charge, investigations into my actual political activities could continue. By now, new allegations started to emerge. Claims were being made by the security services that I had been communicating with Amin, and that at the time of my arrest I had tried to destroy a letter which supported this claim. Elements in the state then tried every trick they could to bolster their claim that I had tried to communicate with Amin. I was now being charged with political activities, not just common assault; bail became harder to get. The case dragged on for many months, until I was able to convince Ndugu Kisesa, then government regional security officer of Morogoro, that I had nothing to do with Amin. He ultimately recommended to the President’s Office that the case be withdrawn, which it was. During the several weeks I spent in detention at that time I was often threatened with my life; my friends and parents were harassed by the security police. I believe I became a marked man, one to be closely watched, ever since then. Even after the case was dismissed, I remained rusticated. It was only in the following academic year that I was conditionally reinstated, and transferred to Monduli College of National Education in Arusha. I lost a whole year of my studies, the sort of price one had to pay then for expressing an opinion that annoyed the Tanzanian government. *********** My immediate neighbour in the 7th pavilion of Machava prison was a Mulatto woman called Renete. She was on Death Row, allegedly for spying for Renamo. She spoke some English and, surprisingly, when I could briefly see her during my 10 minutes for washing and passing water, she was always in good spirits despite the death sentence hanging over her head. She spoke of an Italian boyfriend whom she seemed to have lost touch with since her incarceration. She was short and small, but beautiful. One day, after being let out of her cell for a few minutes to use the toilet and wash, she refused to get back into the cell, demanding a mattress and blanket. Renete was totally determined that she would not enter her cell until her demands had been met. A prison guard tried to push her into the cell but she would not budge; in the end she got her mattress and blanket. I greatly admired her courage; if Renete could be so resolute facing a death sentence, what about me? She became my inspiration. Another foreign prisoner in our pavilion was a British citizen, Finlay Dion Hamilton. He was a director of Manica Freight Services and, according to him, had lived in Mozambique for more than two decades. Frelimo’s “Revolutionary Military Tribunal” had sentenced him to twenty years in prison for allegedly aiding Renamo (an anti-Frelimo group) to blow up a fuel depot in Beira, Mozambique’s second largest town. I saw him on several occasions in the morning when he was allowed out of his cell, and he seemed to be in low spirits. Once the Frelimo guards noticed that we conversed freely in English, he was transferred to pavilion No. 4. Among the other prisoners were Renamo rebels who had accepted the Frelimo government’s offer of amnesty if they surrendered. Instead of receiving amnesty, some were im-prisoned in Machava. One such rebel was a young Zimbabwean man who had worked as a radio technician for Renamo. He claimed he had been trained in radio communications in South Africa. He said he had learnt of the govenment’s amnesty offer from a leaflet he had picked up; he gave himself up and after interrogation was brought to Machava. He believed Frelimo had not honoured its promise. When I left Machava, his fate was still uncertain. ************* On the fifth day of my incarceration in Machava, a prison guard rattled the padlock outside my cell; he called me out. I walked lamely ahead of him towards the prison offices. I had definitely lost weight due to the harsh prison conditions. A young man dressed in a white-sleeved shirt with a Nikon camera dangling over his chest stood next to the prison offices. He ordered me to sit on a stool in front of him. His incisors were sharpened; I thought he might be from Musoma, Julius Nyerere’s home place. The man studied me for a while, then started questioning me in Swahili. “Who are you?” He asked vaguely. “Whom did you send for?” I retorted. He stopped questioning me and instead asked me to pose for pictures. That done, I asked him if he was aware of my prison conditions and demanded to know if I was already serving sentence; I also demanded to know what crime I had committed in Mozambique. He replied that he knew nothing about prison conditions; and even if he did, it was outside his power to do anything about it. His reply sounded very boastful. I understood him; after all, he was not a prison guard at Machava and probably did not understand what I was talking about. His job suggested he was a privileged person, and I had no reason to believe he had ever been in prison, certainly not as a political prisoner. I thus seized the opportunity to warn him that prison was like an infirmary. “You should not think you’re immune from going where you send others,” I told him. Briefly, I was telling him that what was happening to me today could happen to him tomorrow. Then I added, seriously, that I wished I was the last to endure such treatment. He looked at me with disbelief. “Why are you saying all this,” he demanded of me. “Well”, I replied, “just to remind you that what we black Africans live under is like a tinderbox of frustration.” I reminded him that as long as African countries continued to follow one-party political systems, every African was a potential prisoner of conscience if not a refugee. He seemed momentarily stunned, condensing what I had told him. I was returned to my cell, convinced that he had got the message. That evening, December 11, 1983, a miracle happened; a Frelimo guard opened my cell door and commanded that I follow him. In front of the prison offices a group of men dressed in civilian clothes stood conversing in Portuguese. They seemed in jovial mood, slapping each other playfully, laughing and shaking hands frequently. One of them, a short man dressed in a crimplene tailored trouser, held out his hand to greet me; the others watched silently. As we shook hands, I had the sudden feeling that my status was about to change, possibly for the better; this was, after all, the first time since I was incarcerated in Machava that I had shaken hands with a prison official. And the man whose hand I had just shaken seemed to be a senior official; he spoke to the rest of the group with authority. As it later turned out, the man was in fact the head of Machava Prison. He instructed one of his juniors to remove my handcuffs and ordered that my civilian clothes be given back to me. However, the prison official in charge of prisoners was nowhere to be found. The chief of Machava decided that we go anyway, in my prison outfit. I was taken to a waiting Rada car fitted out with radio equipment. In front and behind were two army jeeps, their machine guns pointed at the Rada car. I sat in the back, my hands buried between my thighs to allay any fears that I might try to escape by overpowering my guards. Heavily armed Frelimo men sat on either side of me. The head of Machava sat behind the steering wheel; beside him sat a short man in plain clothes, his face marked with Makonde tribal marks. We moved in a convoy, one military jeep leading, the other trailing us. We moved in silence; nobody cared to tell me where we were going; I did not bother to ask. I had resolved that whatever my fate, I would face it with a smile. The bottom line, as far as I was concerned, was that my suffering was for something I wholly believed in: democratic values and social justice. We pulled up in front of an elegant multi-storey building in downtown Maputo. Opposite it were houses surrounded by a nice garden, from which the Mozambican flag was hoisted. I assumed this was the house of a senior state official. More than a dozen Frelimo soldiers armed with AK-47s stood in front of the multi-storey building. The head of Machava disappeared into the building, leaving his lieutenant and two armed men with me in the car. Minutes later a soldier beckoned us into the building. I was led into a large room on the first floor; it had a thick, expensive carpet, with walls decorated with paintings of various kinds. It was a self-contained double-room. An armed Frelimo soldier sat on a chair facing me; beside him was a table with a telephone. The soldier stood to attention whenever I entered or left the room; he seemed unaware of my status. Before leaving, the head of Machava, speaking in fluent Swahili – he learnt the language in Tanzania when he was a refugee during the liberation war – introduced me to his proxy, the head of Matola Prison. The Matola Prison chief was to stay with me in my new quarters. He too spoke Swahili very well and was de facto commander of the troops deployed at the building. The head of Matola prison told me he was surprised at my sudden change of status. He admitted it was the first time in his career that a prisoner had been brought from prison to a state lodge. The room I was in, he informed me, was where president Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire had slept during his last visit to Mozambique. Having established where I was now being held, I concluded that it was too good to be true. Paradoxically, the Frelimo people seemed not to trust each other, despite their shared hardship and supposed solidarity. Perhaps it is characteristic of guerrillas not to trust each other: for example, the head of Machava kept his opposite number, the chief of Matola prison, in the dark about my name, the reasons for my imprisonment, and indeed the reasons for my transfer from prison to a state lodge. Yet the Matola Prison chief was part of my guard and overall commander of the unit guarding me. Additionally, extra troops were deployed at the lodge without advance warning being given to the Matola prison chief. He later told me that when he was called from Matola Prison, he thought it was to collect a prisoner from Machava Prison who had not first been “processed”, as he termed it, at Matola Prison. He was genuinely astounded that I had been brought directly to a state lodge, and that nobody in authority was prepared to explain why. This situation worked enormously to my advantage: I, the captive, had to explain my ordeal to my uninformed captor. I have never been able to establish the reasons for my sudden transfer from prison to state house: was it the result of my calculated lecture to the official who had taken my photograph, or was it mere coincidence? ************ Life at the state lodge was a far cry from the harsh realities of life in the streets of Maputo. The closet in my room contained perfumed soaps, Russian toothbrushes and toothpaste, electric shavers and expensive after-shave lotions; such items were then hard to come by in Maputo. Staff at the lodge were all dressed in white uniforms and were highly disciplined. A Goan woman, or Portuguese woman of Goan origin, seemed to be in charge of the chefs in the kitchen. Downstairs in the dining-room, four armed soldiers stood to attention every time we had our meals. Even when we had finished eating and I decided to remain seated, the soldiers would remain at attention until I had left. I realised then that African leaders were captives themselves: these soldiers were rehearsing what they were inevitably required to do whenever there was a state visit. My new quarters also had a balcony overlooking the sea; often I sat there with the Matola prison chief after meals or a siesta. Whenever I would move to the balcony a staff member would ask me what I wanted to drink. To my surprise, when I ordered double whisky on the rocks, it was brought promptly; and it was pure Scotch whisky. This contrasted sharply with Machava prison, where prisoners did not even have adequate food; or with the streets of Maputo, where consumer goods were in short supply, if not impossible to obtain. From the comfort of my new quarters, Mozambique seemed to be a country with two divergent economies. ************ Because of his assigned duties, the Matola prison chief slept in a room next to mine. As I settled in at the state lodge, we developed a good understanding of each other. He looked much poorer than his post suggested: on days that he guarded me, he never changed his clothes. Perhaps this was because he had been summoned at short notice for his new duties and had not had time to bring spare clothes. His clothing was virtually worn out: the shirt had patches on the sleeves and collar, and his trousers were patched between the thighs. Despite his shoddy appearance, he was an affable and sociable official. Frequently he praised the kindness of the Swazi people, recalling a trip he had made to Swaziland as part of an advance party for a visit by the late Samora Machel. He said he had enjoyed the pleasure of seeing King Sobhuza, the revered Swazi king who died in 1982. “And all the shops were full of consumer goods,” he kept on saying. His frequent references to Swaziland and its relative economic success suggested that he yearned for political and economic change in his own country. He gave the impression that he was disillusioned with Mozambique’s malfunctioning centrally-planned economy. The Matola Prison chief was anxious to know what had happened to me, and was deeply touched and sympathetic when I told him. He believed that my abduction was known to only a select few top Frelimo officials, because the act itself was a transgression of international law. He wondered if there was anything he could do for me apart from setting me free, which was not possible. I grasped the chance; I asked him if he could mail a note to Mbabane, Swaziland, notifying the UNHCR that I had been abducted. He agreed, and said I should write the note in the toilet in my room and leave it above the cistern, where he would pick it up later. He had access to my room and occasionally used the toilet when we were on the balcony, because of its proximity. Thereafter, I went to the toilet, tore a piece of paper from my pocket diary, which had been returned to me after I left Machava, and wrote a short note for UNHCR in Mbabane. I decided to address it to an official I remembered, for fear that the Mozambicans might be censoring mail destined for abroad and addressed to international organisations. I flushed the toilet to fool the guards into thinking I was using it. After returning to the balcony, the Matola prison chief went to the toilet and retrieved the note. He stayed there a short while, then flushed when he came out. Later, when I asked why I could not give him the note on the balcony since it was only us there, he replied with a smile: “This is Frelimo, where anybody spies on everybody.” ************ Journey to Tanzania Early one morning, on December 16, 1983, a squad of eight Frelimo men in civilian clothes arrived at the state lodge. I could clearly detect their revolvers, hidden under their jackets. The head of Machava prison, dressed in a tailored crimplene suit with a badge of Samora Machel pinned on a lapel, was their commander. This time the convoy of three Rada cars, all fitted out with radio equipment, headed for Mavalane airport, at the air force base. Some civilians, mostly women (possibly wives of Frelimo soldiers), embarked with us on a military aircraft through an opening at the tail end. So far, no one had formally told me where we were going. However, the chief of Matola Prison had informed me the previous night that Samora Machel, on his return to Maputo from a tour of the provinces, had approved my repatriation to Tanzania, as requested. A tall, stout, vicious looking man dressed in camouflage fatigues – I later established he was Mozambique’s head of intelligence – boarded the plane to arrange our seating. He removed me from a window seat to one some distance from the emergency door, probably for security purposes. During the flight the Frelimo men spoke nothing of their mission; I thought this might be due to the presence of women and their children, or possibly because they had been tipped by their seniors that I understood some Portuguese. The women passengers disembarked at Pemba, south of the border town of Mtwara. We lunched there on boiled rice and fried fish; it seemed this was a readily available Mozambican dish; I recalled Machava Prison, where it was fairly common. The rest of the journey to southern Tanzania was short. I remember how some of the Frelimo men kept fingering some US dollar bills, checking for the security line; it seemed most of them had never seen a dollar bill before. Throughout the flight from Maputo to Pemba and onwards I had not been handcuffed. Now, as the military plane began descending, the head of the escort team went to the cockpit; when he returned, he ordered that I should be handcuffed. I immediately realised that I was already in Tanzania, my country. ********** The aircraft touched down on the airfield. A lone fire-fighter, a young man in khaki uniform, stood motionless as he gazed at the taxing plane. The pilot cut the engines and five men came through from the cockpit, pistols in their hands. I recognised the one wearing spectacles as a senior employee of the government-owned Air Tanzania airline; I knew him only as Luvena. Luvena took off my spectacles and blindfolded me; the other two men held me tightly and led me from the plane to a Landrover parked nearby. They laid me back downwards on the back of the Landrover, pressing hard on me. Though I had never met them before, they treated me as if they had a score to settle: they hurled insults at me; I was a “swine”, “traitor”, “bastard”, and common criminal. Whatever derogatory terms they could think of, they used quite generously. The Landrover sped off at terrific speed, like an ambulance transporting a casualty to hospital; it cut several corners before the driver abruptly stopped. The two men who had been pressing me against the floor of the vehicle marched me into a building; again they laid me on my back, blindfolded. An hour later the blindfold was removed; the tiny room contained a small portable fan, which my two guards used to cool themselves. They sat against the only door, which was shut, facing me; the only glass window was sealed with old newspapers, keeping out fresh air and preventing detainees from seeing outside. The walls were bare but for one CCM poster with a picture of Julius Nyerere, fist clenched, urging his subjects not to waste for fear of an impending food crisis in Tanzania. Later, a man I was to get to know as Mlawa entered the room; he ordered me stripped and took my clothes for a through search; I was left in my underpants only. When I inquired from my guards why I was being stripped, one snapped that I should “shut up”. He said if I uttered another word, they would “teach me a lesson”. Out of reach of the fan’s cool breeze, and with the door and only window shut, I began to sweat profusely as I awaited my fate. At about midnight, Mlawa ordered the guards to blindfold me again and take me to a larger room next door for interrogation. I was paraded in only my underwear before the five men, my interrogators, including the man who had blindfolded me on the aircraft, Luvena. I realised for the first time that people can respect institutional authorities only if those authorities respect an individual’s rights; people cease to respect those same authorities when they use their power to erode an individual’s inherent rights. The fact that men from the President’s Office paraded me before them in only my underwear removed any semblance of the belief I once held that such people were noble, aristocratic servants of my land. I believed they did this to political detainees to dehumanise and demoralise them. I was later to establish that I was being held at the offices of the government’s Regional Security officer (RSO). At that time the RSO for Mtwara was a man called Brighton; he was present during my underwear parade. Unfortunately, I failed to establish the identity of the remaining two interrogators. I also quickly noticed that four of my interrogators referred to their fifth colleague, Mlawa, as “chief”, from their headquarters in Dar-es-Salaam. And Mlawa addressed his colleagues with a noticeable measure of authority. He sat at a separate table, which was covered with a green flannel table-cloth, making notes on a writing pad like a magistrate recording court proceedings. In front of him was a black attache case containing a myriad of papers; sometimes he would refer to the papers and make a note. It seemed he had not shaved for more than two days; his tailored black safari jacket was a poor fit and did not match the trousers. He had an expensive Rado wrist watch, which he looked at frequently; his Italian shoes also looked expensive; and he had a solar calculator which he had trouble operating. On the wall above Mlawa hung a picture of Julius Nyerere in a safari jacket, smiling. I could not reconcile his smile with the behaviour of his men, parading me around almost naked and handcuffed. This contrast seemed to vindicate a saying of my community: “It is usually people of fabulous beauty who stink in the mouth”. Rolled up manilla cards were plastered on the rest of the walls, apparently to conceal what was written from the captive’s eyes. a large air-conditioner built into the wall frequently malfunctioned; the window curtains were usually drawn; and the power often failed. ************ Interrogation When God shuts the door, he opens a window. One thing that worked immensely to my advantage was that Mlawa, my chief interrogator, was scarcely literate. Perhaps it was this that made him overzealous; and his over-enthusiasm might explain his rapid rise to the upper echelons of the Tanzanian Intelligence Service, over the heads of his better educated colleagues. I later established that the man had built himself a large house by Tanzanian standards, one that a medical doctor or university lecturer could only dream of, no matter how hard he worked. With so much to lose if the system changed, Mlawa had a vested interest in ruthlessly flushing out dissenting elements. Mlawa often asked unintelligible questions during interrogation; some of his better educated juniors posed sharper questions. He blindly gave away his own organisation’s sources, as well as names of operatives who had gathered some of the information before him. He was convinced that what his organisation claimed to know about our political activities was true, and that I should accept this as the case and tell more. He consequently closed all avenues of obtaining anything new from me, and would order that the two police guards assault me if he thought I was being “uncooperative”. This lack of “cooperation” was to implicate innocent people; people whom the intelligence service perceived as government opponents. Included among these unfortunates were Dr Vedastus Kyaruzi, a former Secretary General of the Commonwealth Health Secretariat; an Assistant Commissioner of Police called Swebe, who was then Staff Officer at the Ministry of Home Affairs; a prominent Nairobi-based Tanzanian herbalist known as Mushobozi; and many others whom I knew nothing about, let alone shared political views with. Despite being forced to implicate people I did not even know, Mlawa’s “leading questions” served a useful purpose: they betrayed his own informers and colleagues. For example, he would ask me a question on a particular subject. To find out how much he knew about the subject, I would initially hesitate, then simply reply that I knew nothing. This would prompt him to shout angrily that I had been heard saying certain things. His “You were heard saying” replies eventually served to remind me whom I had actually talked with about that subject; this helped me form my own defence, given that I had obtained some idea of how much they knew of our activities. This strategy worked for me. Mlawa’s “leading questions” helped me to identify people who had spied on us in Tanzania and in exile. A leading figure in this respect was Colonel Ahmed Mkindi. Not only did Mkindi report back on activities he thought one was involved in, he also implicated innocent people who had nothing at all to do with our political activities. Mkindi’s favourite tactic was entrapment: presenting himself as one being persecuted by the system. I remember that he had come to see me in Swaziland around mid-April, 1983, a few weeks after the Tanzanian government had sealed off its eight borders in order to catch “economic saboteurs”. The real purpose, of course, was to prevent perceived government opponents from fleeing the country, and also to manufacture a scapegoat for Tanzania’s ailing economy: the government had already established, from interrogating several dissidents it had arrested in January that year, that the main cause of growing dissent was economic hardship and corruption. Mkindi had approached me in an agitated mood that day: he implied that his own brother had been arrested in Arusha in possession of one US dollar, during the so-called corruption purge. We agreed that it was terribly unfair to arrest and detain a citizen for possessing a US dollar, while the real thieves in the government hierarchy who siphoned off hoards of money and deposited it in foreign banks were walking scot-free. Mkindi then asked me if I knew anyone in the police in Dar-es-salaam whom he could approach about his brother’s unfair detention. In good faith, I recommended that he speak to Swebe, whom I said I had known as an impartial law enforcer when he was based in Kagera region as a Regional Staff Officer. I had recommended Swebe to Mkindi believing that, in the pursuit of justice, Swebe would help him. Instead, Mkindi had listed Swebe as a government opponent; during my interrogation I was being forced to implicate Swebe. Nestor Rweyemamu, a former athlete and Regional Commercial and Industrial Officer in Arusha, was another man whose innocence I tried to defend. Mkindi had told me that he (Mkindi) wanted to go into business full-time, because he was becoming disillusioned with his employer – the government. He claimed that each time he tried to get a business licence he was forced to walk a bureaucratic minefield; consequently he could not get his import-export business going. Thus he wanted to know if I knew anyone in commerce who could show him how best to obtain his licence. I replied, quite forthrightly, that if a senior diplomat based in Harare had no contacts in commerce, it was ridiculous to expect a Tanzanian refugee in Swaziland to have such contacts. He pleaded with me, offering the excuse that his long absence from Tanzania had put him out of touch with people at home. I mentioned the name of Nestor Rweyemamu, unaware that I was being recorded. I told Mkindi I was unsure if Rweyemamu could help, and that I didn’t know where he had been transferred to. Moreover, I said this was a simple matter to worry about, unlike someone unfairly imprisoned for possessing a US dollar. I had asked him to just forget about the business licence. During my interrogation Rweyemamu’s name cropped up, in the context of what I had discussed with Mkindi. This clearly gave away Mlawa’s source. Another rude shock came in the name of Yahya Hussein, the so-called Tanzanian astrologer who had invited me to his room and paid for my accommodation the day I arrived in Mbabane. My telex message, Amos Chiwele’s letter and my air ticket cover, all of which disappeared from my bag in Hussein’s room, lay open in front of Mlawa and his men. Mlawa also had information on the conversation Hussein and I had had. As for Dr Kyaruzi, I was reported to have been seen entering his clinic in Bukoba before I took flight; Mlawa claimed that I had delayed there too long to have just gone for medication. When I denied I knew the doctor, Mlawa stood up in a fit of hurt pride and shouted that I had been seen in Swaziland “grieving” after being told that Kyaruzi’s wife had died. He also claimed that I was heard to remark that the doctor’s wife had been ill for some time – and indeed she had been ill for a while. Then Mlawa fired his question: Why would I grieve for someone I did not know? And why did I remark that Kyaruzi’s wife had been ill for some time if I did not know the doctor? Once again this could be traced to a conversation between Yahya Hussein and myself. Indeed, it was Hussein who gave me news of the death of Dr. Kyaruzi’s wife. Mlawa was also given to fabricate information in order to intimidate or perhaps to create the impression he knew a lot. One such claim dated back to December 1982 when, according to my interrogators, myself and certain unnamed people were “heard” talking about issues that could “endanger” the life of the former party chairman, Julius Nyerere. Yet, if there was any truth to that, Mlawa could not say why we were not apprehended immediately, especially since what we were supposed to have discussed was extremely serious. Given the arbitrary powers of detention vested in the intelligence service, it is absurd to believe we would not have been arrested there and then. Mlawa had his men also torture me when I was “uncooperative”: they would tighten my handcuffs and refuse to allow me to wash for up to a week. On one occasion they wanted me to implicate the prominent Nairobi-based Tanzanian herbalist Mushobozi. Mlawa claimed that Mushobozi had been seen driving me to the offices of the then Kenyan Vice President, Mwai Kibaki, and that he had been seen handing me a huge envelope, presumably containing money. In short, Mushobozi stood accused of supplying money for furthering dissident activities in Tanzania. Of all the people mentioned during my first three weeks of interrogation at Mtwara, Mushobozi was the most puzzling. I had never seen the man nor heard of him before my abduction; nobody had even mentioned his name to me before. Where his name came from and why the Tanzanian Intelligence Service seemed so keen to implicate him I will never know. But after a week of torture, with my left arm already festering from the tightened handcuffs, I gave in and implicated him. I now admitted that the envelope Mushobozi was supposed to have handed me did indeed contain money to sponsor dissident activities. It was a nightmare that was to live with me, perhaps forever. Mlawa seemed pleased that day; he allowed that I be taken blindfolded to the bathroom for a shower, the first since my abduction. Guards, their pistols pointing at me, watched as I bathed. I was also given medicine for my festering arm wound, and my handcuffs were later loosened. “I will order them to treat you better if you keep cooperating like this,” Mlawa said. Later he boasted that his men operated in Nairobi as they did in Dar-es-Salaam, apparently with a free hand, and that they would be going for Mushobozi at once. My “fellow traitor”, as Mlawa termed Mushobozi, would be joining me at any time. Poor Mushobozi – I didn’t even know his first name. Two weeks later, after I had been transferred to Dar-es-Salaam, Mlawa returned looking visibly annoyed. “Mushobozi’s house was searched,” he told me in an agitated mood, adding that nothing had been found to incriminate him. If this was true, I wondered how the Tanzanian security police could enter another state unless they were working closely with their colleagues there – in this case, the Kenyan special branch. Mlawa repeatedly asked me in a frustrated tone why no exhibits had been found on Mushobozi. I wanted to tell him that I had implicated an innocent man because I was under duress; I decided against that, not wanting to endure another torture session. Instead, I suppressed my sense of guilt and told Mlawa that perhaps Mushobozi had been smart enough to cover his trail. Had Mlawa been an intelligent man in search of the truth, rather than trying to force acceptance of what he wanted, he would have concluded from my face that it was untrue Mushobozi had been involved in any political activity. Instead, Mlawa kept on saying that Mushobozi “is using you… people”. Mlawa then rattled off some speculative talk that Mushobozi was one of the principal figures opposed to Nyerere’s Ujamaa system, and that he was using us as “loudspeakers” for his paymasters in the CIA and other anti-socialist forces. I listened and watched as he lapsed into an abyss of hypothesis and false assumptions. “We will get the bastard,” Mlawa said. I prayed they didn’t. It was nightmarish for me to think I had implicated an innocent person I had never even seen or heard of before. I could not even describe his appearance: during interrogation Mlawa would describe him and I would simply reply “exactly” or “sure” to the description. It was an unfortunate incident that I will have to live with all my life. Later, after my release and escape, while I was living in Portugal, I named my son Mushobozi, after the man I was forced to implicate in a serious case. My son was born in Swaziland while I was in detention. It was now three weeks since I had arrived at Mtwara from Mozambique and Mlawa had concluded that the initial interrogation was over. “I am trying to beat the deadline,” he said sardonically. But the nightmare was not yet over; conditions of my detention remained harsh and I had no outside contact. Finally, Mlawa brought me a sixty-page statement, urging me to sign it without even reading the contents. Even if I had signed, it would have made no difference since the entire statement had been extracted from me under duress and nearly all of it was false. Nevertheless, I had assumed that when the statement was presented to senior officials in the Ikulu (State House), they would read it thoroughly and evaluate it. I strongly believed that because the statement showed I had said “yes” to everything, State House officials would be compelled to raise some doubts. I expected they would send an evaluator, a better educated person than Mlawa, to come and talk to me, without using coercion or intimidation. The idea, I speculated, would be to try and establish the truth. It was at that hoped-for moment that I intended to tell the senior authorities exactly what had happened. But to my complete surprise, nobody else ever came to interview me again. This meant that my statement had not been properly evaluated at the Ikulu; or if it had, they clearly took it to be the truth. Mlawa came to see me several days after I had been transferred to Dar-es-Salaam from Mtwara, to extract more confessions using his familiar cowboy tactics. Throughout my captivity I wondered how many more victims of Nyerere’s regime had been forced to sign statements obtained under duress and through physical torture. I wondered then if anybody would put together a book describing their plight, in order to give the world community a glimpse of human rights’ abuses under Nyerere’s leadership. ************* Journey to Dar-es-Salaam Around midnight, December 27, 1983, I heard strange movements outside my cell; the movements of people, security personnel and cars. They seemed to be … TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE, AND REMAIN INCARCERATED THROUGHOUT AFRICA, MY HEARTFELT THANKS FOR THEIR SUPPORT FOR DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM AND HUMAN RIGHTS AND MY SON, MUSHOBOZI, WITH THE SINCERE WISH THAT HE WILL, IN TIME, LIVE IN A HOMELAND GOVERNED WISELY AND WELL BY DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED LEADERS. CONTENTS Mbabane, Swaziland 1 Abduction 20 A Whiff of Prison 27 Inside Machava 33 Journey to Tanzania 45 Interrogation 49 Journey to Dar-es-Salaam 57 The Dark Side of Nyerere’s Legacy 59 Life in the Camp 87 Release from Solitary Confinement 98 Banishment Order 111 Escape to Freedom 113 Leaving Portugal 119 The first multi-party election 131 Epilogue 134 Mbabane, Swaziland It was a Wednesday, December 6, 1983. A friend and I had just finished a frugal lunch in a shed next to a butchery in Mbabane, Swaziland, opposite the Swazi Observer newspaper. We had bought meat from the butchery, roasted it, and then eaten it with hard porridge. It was a popular place where people would meet for a midday meal and chat. I had just lunched with a Kenyan friend, John Cartridge, who had been in Swaziland for several days, stranded. His version of how he ended in this predicament was not entirely coherent, though it sounded circumstantial. He said he had been working in Lesotho, another Southern African kingdom, as a motor mechanic and businessman. Cartridge even boasted of having repaired the official car of King Moshoeshoe II, the Lesotho monarch who died in 1996. He said he was stranded because his passport had been impounded by a local hotel where he and a Malawian business associate had failed to pay their bills from a previous visit. Rumour had it that Cartridge’s passport had indeed been impounded by the hotel, but only after a business deal with the hotel turned sour. Cartridge and his partner had apparently tried to sell petrol economisers to the hotel’s manager. As it turned out, the economisers proved quite useless to the manager and, according to some sources, he then decided to keep Cartridge’s passport in the hope of recovering his money. Cartridge strenuously denied this claim. Whatever the truth, it was because Cartridge’s passport had been impounded that he was unable to proceed home. It was at this time that I first got to know him, through another Kenyan expatriate who was then working with Posts and Telecommunications as an accountant in Mbabane. I had come to Swaziland from Nairobi in April 1983 to seek refuge after a spate of arrests in Tanzania, my home country, in January. Julius Nyerere’s government was arresting people it accused of dissension. I considered myself unsafe in Nairobi because of the proximity of Tanzania and because of threats I had received before the Kenyan authorities transferred me to Thika Refugee Reception Centre. A benign German Catholic church minister at Thika town had given me 4200 Kenya shillings, enough to cover the price of a one-way air ticket out of Kenya to Khartoum, Sudan. But two of my fellow countrymen in a similar situation to mine were still traversing Uganda, short of cash and hoping to reach Juba, southern Sudan. Uganda was unsafe; there were still many Tanzanian security officials in the country after their invasion in 1979. I decided to divide the money between my two colleagues and sent it through a courier, to ensure they left Uganda at once. I then contacted friends in Europe to enable me to leave Kenya, where I had arrived on 28 February, 1983. I had by now decided against going to Khartoum but had settled for Swaziland. Friends in the Nienburg Teachers’ Union in the (then) Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) arranged to have my ticket paid and advised me where to collect it. After picking up the ticket at Lufthansa’s offices in Nairobi, I returned to Thika Refugee Reception Centre to bid farewell to friends, all of them fellow African refugees. I also felt inclined to thank the authorities at the centre for the great kindness and courage they displayed in working with refugees. I then went to Nairobi to thank the Tanzanian women’s community who had hidden me from the day I crossed into the capital until I was transferred to Thika centre. In those early days in Kenya the Tanzanian women paid for my room at a guest-house they believed was safe; they also gave me money for small items. I was deeply moved by the love, care and concern they showed for me, and felt proud of this wonderful part of the African cultural heritage. Out of concern for own security, I bade farewell without saying when I was leaving Kenya and where I was going. I thought of the old African saying, “Never spill millet in the midst of hens”, and believed my hostesses understood my behaviour and would forgive me. I have always wondered how I managed to fly from Jomo Kenyatta international airport without arousing suspicion. I had no baggage; all I had was a paper bag containing a telex from Germany, several letters from Tanzanian friends, a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, and a singlet and change of underwear. ******* Having no baggage to claim, I proceeded through customs at Matsapha airport, Swaziland, without delays, thanks largely to holding a Commonwealth passport. I did not require a visa and had no cause to explain my situation to Swazi officials. I proceeded to Mbabane, the capital, taking a ride with an Eritrean UN official who had collected a relation from the same flight. By the time I arrived in Mbabane it was late afternoon, and I noted that the following day was a public holiday. Finding accommodation was my main concern as I wandered aimlessly along Allister Miller Street, Mbabane’s main road. As I passed Jabula Inn, a main road hotel, a lean man who looked to be in his late fifties or early sixties emerged. Apparently he had detached himself from a group of people he was conferring with in the hotel foyer. He wore a fez hat and was far too dark to be Swazi (most Swazis are light in complexion). His right hand held a set of joined beads which he counted quickly and repeatedly, as if he was meditating or praying although he continued to talk with people as he did this. He gesticulated and looked at me as if he recognised me. I returned the look, thinking I recognised him from somewhere. We exchanged glances and it occurred to me that I knew the man, but I couldn’t recall from where. He made the first move, greeting me in Swahili. I returned his greeting, surging forward to shake his hand. There was no doubt the man I had just greeted was the renowned Nairobi-based Tanzanian astrologer, Sheikh Yahya Hussein. Now I remembered seeing his pictures in newspapers almost every day, advertising his trade, although I could never work out how he recognised someone like me he had never seen before. Hussein invited me to his room, cutting through a long queue of people who had come to consult him. He was, as he frequently told the Swazi press, a prophet, faith-healer, palm-reader and fortune-teller, not merely an astrologer who could determine the influence of the planets on human affairs. He even told the local media that King Hussein of Jordan was one of his clients, and he provided them with a photograph of him shaking hands with the monarch. This, of course, generated more business for him. Hussein led me into his room with quick, short strides, nodding at people in the queue. He was booked in Room 1 at Jabula Inn and had a room-within-a-room inside his quarters. This provided him with the space he needed: one room for consultancy, the other for his private sleeping quarters. He invited me into his private room; it seemed there was someone else in the consultation room. A beautiful woman, about half Hussein’s age, sat on the unkept bed, seemingly vegetating. She held a can of Castle Beer which seemed empty. Hussein talked briefly to the man in the other room, then joined us. Africans generally respect elders as sages of infinite wisdom. Hussein’s professional standing and the trust others confided in him encouraged me to tell all. Moreover, he had the title of sheikh, which, with its spiritual overtones, projected a sense of moral purity and authority. To my surprise, he knew quite a bit about my situation. Before I had finished my story Hussein telephoned the receptionist and asked her to come to his room. A tall, well-built woman with big eyes arrived and Hussein instructed her to give me a room for several nights at his expense. She agreed, but said the vacant room had to be tidied up. As we waited Hussein asked me to place my paper bag, which I still nursed on my lap, under his bed. He wanted me to go and buy some articles for him. On my return I picked up my paper bag and, being very tired, proceeded to the room Hussein had hired for me. It was there that I realised that some items were missing: the telex from Germany; the letter I had received from a friend, Amos Ole Chiwele, a refugee recognised by the UN; and the cover of my air ticket. I hastily returned to Hussein’s room hoping to retrieve these items, which I nevertheless doubted could have fallen out of the packet. A thorough check under Hussein’s bed revealed no trace of the missing items. Hussein supervised as I searched the bed, all the time claiming that nobody had touched my bag during my absence. I did not at any time imply this might have occurred. The items had unfortunately disappeared, rather mysteriously. Swaziland granted me political asylum within weeks. But due to other factors which I had overlooked in Kenya – Tanzanian troops were stationed next door in Mozambique – the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), in Mbabane, was working hard to find a country in which I could be permanently settled. Indeed, on the day Cartridge and I lunched together I had only one and a half months in which to leave for resettlement in Canada. ********* Having completed our lunch, Cartridge glanced at his watch like someone about to miss an important appointment. I wondered aloud if he was pushed for time. He said he wasn’t and suggested we go for a cold beer at the Mediterranean Restaurant. I considered it a reasonable idea. The Mediterranean Restaurant is situated on Allister Miller Street, in uptown Mbabane, and was owned by people of Asian origin from what was then the People’s Republic of Mozambique. The restaurant offered well-grilled Mozambique prawns and generally had a superb menu. In a country like Tanzania, with its rampant poverty, the Mediterranean would have ranked as a restaurant unfit for second-class citizens. In Swaziland, where abject poverty is minimal, it was a place for everyone. It was hot and sunny, typical of Mbabane at that time of year. We felt instantly relieved as we arranged ourselves on the raised bar seats. Cartridge ordered the first drinks, we sipped, then switched to East African politics. I forget who initiated the discussion, but recall that it continued for some time and attracted a lot of listeners. We dwelt on Nyerere’s popular thesis that black Africans are born socialists. Cartridge insisted that Nyerere, by introducing “Ujamaa”, was trying to enhance our traditional roots and values. I replied that if Africans were naturally socialists, there was no point in trying to convert them to what they were already supposed to be. Cartridge listed what he thought was Nyerere’s achievements: unity; leaps forward in literacy; the provision of rudimentary health services; water for rural areas, and so on. I replied that these were not necessarily achievements that could be attributed to “Ujamaa” or a political system which prohibited other parties. I cited countries such as Botswana, Mauritius, Senegal, and even Egypt as having achieved much the same, without declaring themselves socialists, and under democratic systems that allowed political parties to operate. My contention was that no achievement could justify the existence of a dictatorial system of government: dictatorships deprive people of their liberty. I argued that Tanzania’s achievements under Nyerere were in danger of being eroded because the system lacked permanent democratic institutions. No machinery existed for the smooth transfer of power from one group to another; nor was there any means for citizens to point out their leaders’ mistakes before those mistakes assumed disastrous proportions. I pointed out to Cartridge that the absence of democratic values in Tanzania and Africa generally would give the impression of a dangerous continent, perpetually unpredictable. Such an environment was not conducive to economic growth and social progress and would frighten investors and donors alike. A stable and relatively predictable Africa would be attractive to investors, who would be more willing to invest in industry. Africa would prosper, where now it suffers political and economic deprivation. To drive my point even further, I told Cartridge that “Ujamaa” was Nyerere’s single-minded ideology; Tanzanians would soon start wondering what the experiment was all about. Cartridge and I then turned to the debt crisis facing Africa. I argued against always blaming external factors: donor nations, the international economic order, and even colonialism, although some of these arguments are valid. The fact is that when the colonialists left about thirty years ago, Africans were left with the resources to develop themselves into nations at least as resilient as before colonialism. Unfortunately, this did not happen. Moreover, the management of internal policies is just as important as how Sub-Saharan governments handle their external debt. It is not too late to develop Sub-Saharan countries into viable, mature nations. The primary task of governments is to create viable economies. Yet, with endless infighting and dependence on foreign subsidies, the assertions of African leaders that they control their countries and their futures is greatly diminished. Failed African economies do much to bolster the claim to credibility of South Africa’s largely white-managed economy, which outshines any other on the continent. As I expounded my ideas to Cartridge, I became quite oblivious of my surroundings. Suddenly I realised that a short, brown woman was standing in front of us, her eyes firmly set on us as if she was preparing to make a point. ******** The woman in the tight-fitting skirt introduced herself as Lindiwe (Years later, my efforts to find her proved futile). I was uncertain whether she had been there throughout our conversation; nor could I work out whether she had been serving us all along or if she had come to replace another staff member. We exchanged greetings with Lindiwe, who promptly proposed to accompany us after she finished work at 4pm. Cartridge and I were caught off-guard by her proposal, and Lindiwe seemed reluctant to be turned down. Such behaviour is rare from African women, and is provocative and challenging. Cartridge and I probed each other’s faces to try establish who Lindiwe had her eye on; her frequent smiles and flirty manner suggested I was the target. After 4pm we proceeded with Lindiwe to Msunduza township, where I had secured accommodation at a youth centre paid for by UNHCR. My room was tiny but neat, with a wooden double-decker bed, a small table and chair, and a reading light. We had some beers which we concealed in paper bags – the youth centre, run by a church organisation, did not allow the consumption of alcohol on its premises. Lindiwe did not drink at all that day. I obtained some cups from the matron, who later joined us with two seamstresses from the youth centre. As we talked and joked, I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was Jo. I had briefly known Jo, and he was something of an enigma to me. I had met him two days earlier in Manzini, Swaziland’s second largest town. The events preceding that meeting with Jo, with the knowledge of hindsight, need repeating. A friend of mine (at least I thought so then), Colonel Ahmed Mkindi, Tanzania’s military attache in Zimbabwe, had persuaded me to move to Manzini, claiming that my security was threatened if I remained at one place for too long. I told him I would confer with UNHCR officials; he objected, saying UNHCR lacked the resources to afford the comfortable abode he had in mind and was prepared to pay for. That day, Mkindi really looked concerned about my safety. During his visits to Swaziland Mkindi would put forward various proposals to me, ranging from obtaining Libyan assistance in setting up a clandestine radio station, to reactivating the group of young Tanzanians clamouring for political and economic change. I always replied that he should sell those ideas to people in Tanzania. I also made clear my objection to obtaining any form of assistance from an idiosyncratic regime such as Libya. Colonel Mkindi and I never felt free with each other. We did not talk like compatriots holding similar political opinions, let alone like comrades in arms. He contradicted himself constantly, and he had that perpetual worried look of a person of questionable character. He would introduce sensitive political topics about Tanzania, and then be unable to hold eye contact during the discussion. His eyes would rotate sideways, like someone in possession of stolen goods. I remember one day when Mkindi jetted in from Harare and came directly to the youth centre to find out what progress had been made regarding my departure for Canada. He proposed that, because I received only a small allowance from UNHCR, we should go to the Swazi Plaza to buy some food and he would pay. Mkindi bought me so much food and other items that it looked almost as if I was going to open a retail store at the youth centre. Far from being happy, I was shocked. He had even offered to buy me a bottle of whisky; I talked him out of it, saying such luxuries were best forgotten in exile. While we were loading the goods into his car, a Ugandan expatriate and friend of mine David Magumba Gwaita, suddenly appeared. I introduced Mkindi to my friend, but to my amazement Mkindi appeared in a panic. Even my Ugandan friend noticed that Mkindi had suddenly become disorientated, but we could not work out why. Magumba thanked Mkindi for his care and concern and offered to accompany us to the youth centre to help unload the items. As my Ugandan friend followed us, Mkindi explained his sudden change of mood: he said he did not wish to be seen in my company, as this could result in terrible consequences if it was reported to Tanzania. I was not convinced. He had come to see me many times and had acted as “courier” between me and some people in Tanzania. Many Tanzanians in Swaziland, including some he might have had reason to fear, had seen us together. Mkindi was, for example, a friend of Ahmed Kombe, who at that time worked as a teacher at the Institute of Health Sciences in Mbabane. On one occasion Mkindi extended an invitation to me from Kombe to have dinner. For several hours after dinner at Kombe’s house we discussed the political situation in Tanzania, critically analysing the appalling economic conditions and growing poverty. A week after that dinner a junior Tanzanian army officer stationed in Mozambique had brought a personal message from one of our compatriots in Maputo. This young army man was himself sympathetic to our cause. His message basically implied that Ahmed Kombe was the brother of the Director of Intelligence (DI) in Tanzania. On the day Mkindi purchased groceries for me, I asked him if this was true. He reacted without any astonishment. Ahmed Kombe’s brother, Amran Kombe, then held the rank of brigadier. Since Mkindi himself held a high military rank, I would have expected he would know Amran Kombe well, even if he did not know or approve of his past activities. I also found it surprising that Mkindi was unaware that Ahmed Kombe was his colleague’s brother. “You don’t seem surprised to know that Ahmed Kombe is Brigadier Kombe’s brother?” I asked him as we silently headed towards the youth centre in Msunduza township. “Er… what? No… sure I am,” he replied rather absent-mindedly. When I asked how much he knew of Brigadier Kombe, Mkindi replied that he knew him only in a “professional context.” I made a note of that phrase. “Professional context? Does it mean that you too work for the secret service?” I inquired. He seemed distressed and failed totally to maintain eye contact; his face had a guilt-ridden appearance. Finally, he attempted to ingratiate me by saying I was an “intelligent, perceptive young man”. I cut him short before he could finish, as I thought he had resorted to this tactic to evade an important matter. His avoidance of the question prompted me to dwell on it. Mkindi now said that by “professional context” he had meant that both he and Brigadier Kombe were in the army. “Amran and I are soldiers,” he said, mopping his sweating face with his right palm. But he referred to the Director of Intelligence informally, by his first name, rather than by his rank or surname. To me, this suggested that Mkindi knew Brigadier Kombe better than he cared to admit. The alarm went off and, for the first time, I started to become worried. The previous month the Attorney-General of Swaziland, Patrick Makanza, himself a Tanzanian, held a christening ceremony for his young son. Among those present were Mkindi, who sat next to me, and Ahmed Kombe, who was busy taking photographs. I soon realised that Kombe had taken more pictures of me and Mkindi than of anyone else. Yet this never seemed to bother Mkindi, in spite of his later claim in front of my Ugandan friend that he did not want to be seen with me. After all, my Ugandan friend had nothing to do with Tanzanian politics, and I told Mkindi he had no reason to worry. But it was the day Mkindi bought me groceries that he finally persuaded me to move to Manzini. His argument was that he feared for my safety at the youth centre. The next morning Mkindi arrived at the youth centre with a man he introduced as his friend a former white Rhodesian (now Zimbabwe) who had since moved to South Africa. We loaded most of my belongings into the Rhodesian man’s truck. I was unsure I was doing the right thing, but for the security scare fed to me by Mkindi. For this reason I even refrained from informing the UNHCR of my move, since I wasn’t sure I would stay very long in Manzini. We stopped at many places on our way to Manzini. At each stop Mkindi would demand to eat something; he would also drink tea with a lot of sugar. He seemed unconcerned about controlling his eating, given that he was a fat man. We pulled up at a boarding house in Manzini owned by a woman of mixed ancestry (coloured). It was situated on the left corner on the way to William Pitcher Teachers’ College. It was a large room with two wide windows and good ventilation. Mkindi paid the full board for the month, and then demanded a receipt which he kept in his pocket. He had seemed particularly keen to retain the receipt; when I suggested that I should keep the receipt, he refused. No, he said, he wanted to keep it as a “souvenir”. He might have thought he was making a joke, but I failed to buy his “souvenir” talk. My suspicion about his real intentions intensified. For instance, when I asked him how he had got to know of the guest house he wanted me to put up at, he answered that he had once spent a night there. But that did not offer a direct answer to my question. The guest house was an isolated, quiet place with hardly any boarders – three at the most. Moreover, I was not convinced that a senior diplomat, in normal circumstances, would have spent a night at a guest house on the outskirts of town, rather than in a hotel in the town centre. Even if Mkindi’s story was believable, it did not explain why he had spent so much money buying food and other items for me. After all, he should have known that the place he wanted me to book into offered full boarding facilities. The next morning I decided to go to Mbabane to collect my mail, which came through the offices of UNHCR. I still thought it was premature to inform them I had moved to Manzini. As I waited for a bus in front of Uncle Charlie’s Motel, a white Volkswagen Golf car stopped in front of me. The lone driver lowered his window and invited me in. He was short and wore an unruly beard, like a student of Marxism-Leninism. Noticing that I was hesitant, he introduced himself as he talked through the lowered window. He said he had seen me several times at the youth centre, where he claimed he went to visit a friend. He mentioned the name of a person I knew, a refugee from South Africa. By mentioning the name of someone in the same boat as me, he established his credentials. I got into the car. “My name is Joshua. People call me Jo. It saves time.” I told him my name. He said he recognised me, and that was why he had stopped. He said he never stopped for people he did not know; I said that with crime on the increase he could lose his car at gunpoint. “This is it,” he said, and started driving aimlessly towards a local hospital. “But this is not the way to Mbabane,” I thought. He asked me if I was in a hurry, and replied that I was. He excused himself, saying he wanted to talk to a friend “for a few minutes” before heading to Mbabane. As it turned out, it was not to be a few minutes. Jo kept driving aimlessly around the area known as Two Sticks, stopping at several houses before he finally decided to drive to Mbabane. He had offered to give me a ride in the afternoon and had told me he would be going back to Manzini. Later I decided to take a bus back to Manzini; I had forgotten about him altogether. But he did not seem to have forgotten me. That night I did not sleep, wondering why I had come to Manzini. Suspicion centred not only on Colonel Mkindi, but also on Manzini’s proximity to Mozambique. Manzini is closer to Maputo than Mbabane is. During the night I decided that the reasons Mkindi had given why I ought to move were flimsy. Idecided this would be my last night in Manzini. Early next morning I called a taxi, packed my items, and headed for the bus rank. An hour later I was back in Mbabane, at the youth centre. Now here was Jo standing at my door, barely twenty-four hours since I had left Manzini. I told the landlady in Manzini that I had decided to leave, but did not tell her where I was going. I did not even ask for a refund of the money Mkindi had paid for the accommodation. The big question was: How did Jo know I had gone back to the youth centre? Unless, of course, he had gone to where I had briefly put up in Manzini and been told I had checked out. Possibly he had come to see if I had come back to the youth centre. But the questions persisted. How did he know where I had lived in Manzini? I had never mentioned it to him. Besides, we were not friends, and I did not know where he lived, nor did I wish to know. If he had gone to Manzini to look for me, what were his reasons? We were not friends and had nothing in common. These thoughts raced through my mind when I opened the door and found myself facing Jo. I tried to dismiss my suspicions lest I should become paranoid. I invited him in and gave him my seat and a cup of beer I had in my hand. He greeted the others in the room, then blamed me for having left Manzini without telling him. He inquired: “My friend, why didn’t you tell me you were leaving Manzini?” “Did I have to?!”, I replied in a sharp voice. Suddenly the room fell silent as everyone seemed to want to listen to the conversation. All eyes shifted to me; I immediately realised that the others in my room had not followed the exchange between Jo and myself. They had heard my question and it sounded impolite. I tried to correct their impression by saying that I did not mean to be rude to Jo; I had left Manzini for reasons of my own. It was hot in Manzini, more so than in Mbabane, I told Jo. Lindiwe agreed. Jo said he had thought he would look me up to see how I was doing, and I replied that it was very kind of him. My attention then shifted to the three women who had been in my room; they stood up and made for the door. ******** Everybody was leaving. The two seamstresses and the matron said they had finished their work and were going to tend to family affairs. Jo claimed he was going back into town to collect photographs for a friend he said was at the University of Swaziland. I could not understand why he had not collected the photographs on his way to the youth centre; after all, the friend in question often passed through the youth centre. Jo then suggested that he would check the youth centre again before going back to Manzini. I declined to say he should not, since I had not asked him in the first instance to come and see me. John Cartridge now excused himself, saying he needed to meet someone at Jabula Inn. I thought his departure was intended to be tactful, in order to give Lindiwe and myself a chance to speak freely and privately. I had persuaded him to stay until we could see Lindiwe off, but he refused. I also asked Cartridge to phone my girlfriend, Imelda Khumalo, who was due to finish work shortly and expected me to meet her in town. I had provided him with her telephone number and instructions that I would be meeting her in about one and a half hours. Imelda was pregnant at the time and it was imperative that I should spend some time with her. I was worried that if I was late in meeting her she would show up at the youth centre and wonder what Lindiwe was doing in my room. On the other hand, I did not want to hurt Lindiwe’s feelings by asking her to leave before she wished to. Jo returned just as I prepared to see Lindiwe off. He offered to take us into town; on the way Lindiwe asked if I would buy her some Kentucky Friend Chicken. At Kentucky, after I had bought the chicken, I found to my surprise that Jo had paid for it before I could. I did not know whether Jo and Lindiwe knew each other, but a shrewd observer would have concluded they were at least familiar to each other. Why had Jo decided to entertain my visitor? Without unduly worrying further, I concluded that Jo was perhaps trying to catch her eye. We dropped Lindiwe at her workplace. “Take care you guys,’ she said as she got out of the car waving at us. By now Jo knew my timetable. With more than an hour left before my intended meeting with Imelda, he suggested I accompany him to the Swazi Spa in Ezulwini valley a fifteen minute drive from Mbabane. He said he was going to meet an uncle who had been attending a business meeting. He had established his credibility as an acquaintance, if not a friend, of a refugee like me, a stranger in a foreign country who would value any friendly act to fill the void left by the absence of loved ones from home. I now regarded Jo as someone who showed a touch of humanity; perhaps he had taken his own precious time and the trouble to find out where I had moved to. I thought it would be unfair to let him down, and agreed to accompany him to the Swazi Spa. We had agreed he would bring me back immediately he had seen his uncle. But once he got behind the wheel he changed his mind, stamping hard on the accelerator to increase speed. He had suddenly remembered his girlfriend in Manzini who he claimed also wanted to see his uncle. He said it had been a long time since he last saw his uncle, who had gone to England some time ago and was now back in Swaziland for a business meeting with some executives from the UK. I found elements of his story contradictory but dismissed them, thinking I had misunderstood the whole thing from the start. He was now silent, driving fast, possibly preoccupied with thoughts of his girlfriend in Manzini. Once there, he parked outside an elegant apartment, from which a small girl babbled something to him through a window. The words had no meaning for me; they seemed to mean something to Jo. When the girl attempted to come over to the car to see the visitor, Jo hurriedly retrieved her. Later I believed this was an attempt to prevent her from blurting out something to me that he would not have liked. After waiting several minutes Jo’s girlfriend got into the car beside him. She did not turn to look or greet me, thought I did notice her studying me through the rearview mirror. Since she had found me in the car, I made no effort to initiate an exchange of greetings. More surprising, Jo, the friend who had requested that I accompany him, made not the slightest attempt to introduce us. Again, I found this most unusual, but then thought they might have had a quarrel. We hardly spoke as we drove back from Manzini to Ezulwini Valley. When Jo and his girlfriend spoke, it was in English, which I later discovered was designed to hide their native tongue. We pulled up at a parking lot reserved for guests of the Swazi Spa hotel. The hotel was big and luxurious, probably rating as Four Star. A man in uniform, very likely a porter, greeted us with a slight bow at the hotel entrance. The hotel was packed with people, some rattling slot machines in the casino, others buying tokens for roulette, and some sitting quietly drinking. I looked for a place to sit; Jo bought some tokens for the slot machine; his girlfriend had mingled with the crowd in the passageway and disappeared. Jo joined me, his hands full of tokens for the machines. There was nothing gained without venturing, he said. I said that even if I wanted to gain, I was doubtful whether I would opt for this type of venture. I watched him rattling the slot machines with their musical sounds, but no money was ejected. As he lost his last coin he screamed, “damn it”, and I knew he had lost his money. I watched his reaction. He looked devastated, thought he tried to suppress the expression on his face. His mouth seemed to have turned dry. I reminded him of what he had said – nothing ventured, nothing gained – but he seemed unprepared for cracks that teased him rather than showed sympathy for his loss. He thought I was being unnecessarily sarcastic. I then reminded him that he had come to see his uncle, not to venture. At the mention of his uncle he immediately moved away from the slot machines and said he was coming back shortly. He returned with two full glasses of what looked like gin. He invited me to take one from his outstretched hands, saying his uncle had given us gin. “Where is your uncle?”, I asked. “In the meeting,” he replied, adding that his uncle would be joining us shortly. I found this strange: his uncle buys us drinks without first asking what we drink. Still, I did not want to hurt my friend Jo by refusing his uncle’s drink. Perhaps this is due to the African mentality of doing something for the sake of appeasing someone you feel you ought to respect. I accepted the drink from Jo. But as I lifted the glass to say “Cheers”, I noticed the drink filled only about three-quarters of the glass. Did this include the dilution, I wondered. Maybe. Asking saves a lot of guesswork; strangely, on this occasion, I failed to ask. Before I could swallow my first sip, Jo announced that his girlfriend was in a hurry and had decided to take his car. He promised to take me back to Mbabane with his uncle before they returned to Manzini. I wondered whether his girlfriend had even seen his uncle, which was the sole purpose of her coming to Ezulwini. If the uncle was going to return to Manzini, why had she even bothered to come to the Swazi Spa? These questions, like all the others, seemed to have no satisfactory answers. Foolishly, I dismissed them as other people’s private matters which should not concern me. What a poor judge of character I was. I lifted my glass containing “gin” and drank from it. ************* Abduction I lay on my back in surroundings that looked wet with dew. It was dark and silent, with the occasional sound of frogs from nearby ponds. I tried to lift up my head but it was heavy; someone seemed to push me hard with a boot back to the ground. I thought I was dressed but couldn’t be quite sure. I lifted an arm to mop my face, to detect if I still had my spectacles on. I seemed to be wearing them. It seemed I was surrounded by people who spoke either Portuguese or English; I know both languages. The people around me looked like soldiers, with their guns pointed at me. But I could not figure out exactly what they were. Was this a dream, a vision, a nightmare. Perhaps a terrible nightmare, I concluded. Again and again I had this vision of men, three of them, one brandishing a pistol as they dragged me into a white Toyota car. The one with the pistol looked vicious and overweight. A jungle hat sat on his head, and he wore an overcoat. Another held what looked like a bayonet from a G-3 rifle. He looked like Jo, my companion for much of the day. The third man, a short fellow, pretended to be drunk and held a large red spotlight. I closed my eyes, then opened them, unable to comprehend anything. Someone around me then ordered that I be lifted up. Several pairs of hands held me and lifted me from the ground. I protested feebly that I should be left alone; the men hurled a barrage of insults at me. I now sat with my hands on my knees; soldiers cocked their guns, pointed them at me and surrounded me. Most of the soldiers had on worn-out boots from which their toes protruded; their combat fatigues also looked worn-out. Many smoked tobacco rolled in paper; their bodies reeked of sweat; their mouths stank whenever they opened them to speak. Most seemed to have had no contact with water for ages; they were dusty and clumsy in behaviour. I was now sure this was no nightmare. I was being kicked by soldiers speaking Portuguese. I felt weak, perhaps a hangover from the gin I had consumed at the Swazi Spa hotel. As it became brighter I surveyed the area; I spotted a distinctive building on the right-hand side. It had a vivid copper inscription in capital letters that read “Banco De Mocambique.” I stood for a few minutes, petrified. I had been abducted from Swaziland to Mozambique. ************ A soldier pushed me with a rifle butt, urging me to keep moving. He ordered me to put my hands above my head and obey all orders. I counted nine soldiers; they were joined by nine more as we started moving towards a nearby Frelimo camp. The new arrivals were harsh, kicking and hitting me with their rifle butts, shouting “bandido”, a Portuguese word for bandit, the term used by Frelimo to describe Renamo rebels. Jo suggested to the soldiers that they handcuff me as I was “too smart” and might try to escape. It is hard to describe how I felt towards Jo; revulsion is an understatement. I recall glaring at him with contempt, until Frelimo soldiers began to strike me with their rifle butts, ordering me to keep moving. Humans are a mystery. They can charm you, put on a special type of character, all to achieve their own ends. Once done, they return to their true colours. I could not come to terms with what Jo had done: yesterday he pretended to be my caring friend, even entertaining my visitor, Lindiwe, whom I now thought might herself have been part of the abduction; now Jo was my kidnapper. Frelimo soldiers now swarmed around Jo, congratulating him for his “hard work”, though I doubt many of them understood what was really happening. One soldier in the new section that had arrived shouted “Jenarali (Jo), you have pulled a big job”. Jenerali, or Jo, simply smiled. The fact that he was known to Frelimo soldiers by his nom de guerra suggested this was not the first mission he had pulled off. We turned off on the right-hand side of the Swaziland/Maputo road, into what looked like a mission school with a big cathedral. It was now clear that I had been abducted to the Mozambican border town of Namaacha. How we crossed Swaziland’s fenced border remained a mystery at that stage. I was led inside the mission school, now converted into a training camp, after sentries posted at the gate opened it for us. A once beautiful Catholic mission school was now a Frelimo army barracks, with the buildings falling apart. Classrooms had been turned into soldiers’ sleeping quarters and Frelimo offices. We entered one of the buildings overlooking the cathedral; it stank of urine and human excrement. Even as I was being led inside the building, three soldiers stood facing the wall urinating. I wondered how Frelimo soldiers managed to work in such an environment. I remember seeing a group of soldiers emerge from the cathedral with their uniforms wrinkled, almost as if they had slept in them. I doubted if the sanctity of the church was respected any longer. The room I was taken to had a Frelimo soldier slumbering behind a manual typewriter. Next to the typewriter was a black telephone, one of the old types with a rolling handle for calling the operator. A set of bicycles was clumped together against the wall; above them, on a string, hung a dozen or so manacles. At the far end of the room there hung a picture of Samora Machel, the first president of Mozambique, with his beard and gap-toothed stare. The floor was unswept and smelt of fungus. The room had now become crowded with Frelimo soldiers, many of whom had emerged from the cathedral. Some of the soldiers knew nothing of what had transpired and wanted to know where I was “going for training.” Apparently they thought I was a South African smuggled out of Swaziland for military training in a frontline state or elsewhere. One of their number, probably the man in charge, ordered my pockets searched. They found some Emalangeni bank-notes (Emalangeni is Swaziland’s currency), and from another pocket fished out my pocket diary and room key for the youth centre. I was particularly worried about my diary, which contained the names of several contacts in Tanzania who belonged to our group. I also recorded my daily activities; no doubt this would prove useful to the people who ordered my abduction. Surprisingly, the Frelimo soldier merely flicked through the pages of my diary, then asked where my photograph was fixed – he thought it was a passport. The soldier was illiterate; he could not distinguish a diary from a passport. I told him in English that the book he held was a diary, but he did not understand. He flung it on the table, where my money and room key were. I was then ordered to sit down on the floor. “Jenerali”, or Jo as I knew him, entered the room, talking slowly with his friends and a group of soldiers we had left behind. Then, quite unexpectedly and to my amazement, the soldier who had ordered me searched promptly ordered the leader of the abduction team to step forward. Jo, like a soldier about to receive a medal for bravery stepped forward. The Frelimo soldier duly ordered him to be thoroughly searched. For the man who had described himself as the “arresting officer”, such treatment was demeaning; it diminished his status before the prisoner he had arrested. The Frelimo man was a no-nonsense soldier: from Jo’s trouser back pocket he removed a Tanzanian alien Travel Document and threw it onto the table where my things were. I was disturbed to see my country’s travel document in the hands of an abductor, particularly my abductor. Over the years the Tanzanian government had indiscriminately issued Tanzanian passports to people not entitled to them, usually “freedom fighters” whose activities it supported. The Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) regime felt it was appropriate to issue our national passports to “freedom fighters”, to provide them with cover from detection and to facilitate easy travel in the course of their “liberation” duties. Some Tanzanians who favoured a non-violent approach were unhappy about this. Tanzania’s ruling CCM party (and the only party) played host to “freedom fighters” it recognised from Southern Africa and elsewhere, including some of Dr Milton Obote’s exiled entourage after Idi Amin had deposed Obote. Tanzanian opposition forces argue that CCM, which gave directives of this nature without legislative approval, is by such action confirmed to be a state party and not a mass party, as CCM liked to claim. Even more disgusting to me was the thought that people to whom Tanzanians had extended hospitality, and for whom we had made great sacrifices, particularly economically, were engaged in dirty activities and even spying on Tanzanians. That brings back memories of the first treason trial, in 1969, in which a South African exile, Potlake Rebalo, featured prominently as a state witness. Remember, too, the involvement of another South African known as Dumisani in the mysterious death in a road accident in 1984 of Tanzania’s only popular Prime Minister, Edward Moringe Sokoine. A strongly held view in Tanzania has it that Sokoine was “bumped off” for reasons of political expediency; moreover, it is claimed a South African was employed in order to avoid having to use a Tanzanian. After all, that might have provoked tribal sensitivities in a unitary country. The next to undergo the Frelimo search after Jo was the fat man in an overcoat. From under his arm the Frelimo man retrieved a pistol contained in a green cotton holster. This explained why he continued to wear an overcoat in such hot temperatures. The fat man had no money, nor any identification, which was perhaps understandable for someone carrying out the type of assignments he did. Better to cover your trail in case things go wrong. I was surprised that a man could leave his home with his pockets empty to carry out a mission such as this. It was almost as if he had set out to commit suicide. Was he perhaps Jo’s uncle who had attended a “business meeting” at the Swazi Spa? Maybe he was the man who had offered the “gin” that caused me to black out, leading to my abduction. The third man, who looked young and innocent, surrendered the red spotlight. Unlike his two compatriots, he had small pieces of paper in his pockets, something which suggested he was an amateur in the abduction business. His eyes and face lacked the zeal and portentousness so evident in his colleagues. The Frelimo official proceeded to ask Jo about my abduction. He wanted to know from Jo how he brought me through from Swaziland. Jo replied that it was through “the normal route”, his eyes darting from me to his interviewer. He seemed unsure about whether I understood Portuguese and refused to answer more questions; he told the Frelimo man he would do so once I was taken out of the room. Two armed Frelimo soldiers then led me, handcuffed, out of the building. By now it was clear to me that the “normal route” Jo had referred to was the one used to smuggle ANC (African National Congress) people out of Swaziland to Tanzania, via Mozambique, for military training. Once out of the room, I heard Jo speaking loudly, as if to someone far away; he said the “parcel” had been delivered to the border post at Namaacha. It seemed the Frelimo man spoke on the same line after Jo, but I could not work out whether they had spoken to the same person. I assumed they had spoken to someone in Maputo. Later, I was returned to the same room. Jo and his group were leaving, saying they would return once they had recovered their car from the bush where they had left it. I assumed they would use the same route to return to Swaziland, since they did not have proper travel papers. ************ A Whiff of Prison Early the next day, about 7 am, a short man in the dotted khaki uniform of Frelimo entered the room. The soldier who had ordered the body search the previous day called his juniors to attention. I considered that the order did not apply to me since I was handcuffed and could not come abruptly to attention. The short man was clearly in charge; he exuded an aura of authority and pride often associated with persons in authority approaching a stranger. He wore no shoulder identification to signify his rank; a small red belt across his shoulder suggested his seniority. He spoke Portuguese fast and fluently and seemed to have no manners at all. He seemed intent on displaying his power, barking out orders to his juniors as if they were his personal servants. He demanded to know my name, but I had decided I wasn’t going to speak Portuguese, which I knew, because I felt I had much to gain from learning what my captors were discussing. “I’m sorry officer,” I said in English. “I don’t speak Portuguese.” He stepped towards me, silent and unimpressed, took a white cloth from his pocket and tried to blindfold me, but it was too short for his purpose. He took a step back and in broken English asked me my name. Much to my surprise, after telling him who I was, he introduced himself as Comandante Mateus (pronounced Mateushi); he said I was being held at the request of some Tanzanian officials; he was awaiting further instructions from them on what to do with me. Mateus also told me he had that morning telephoned Wilfred Kiondo, a Tanzanian diplomat at Ujamaa House, the Tanzanian embassy in Maputo. Kiondo, now retired, was a low-ranking police officer during colonial rule. He joined the Tanzanian Intelligence Service (TIS) after independence, serving in many places, and spent some time with TAZARA (Tanzania Zambia Railway Authority) during construction of the railway line. Later he was transferred to Maputo as counsellor at the Tanzanian embassy. He was the man who coordinated the whole kidnap plan. Mateus said he could not do anything further about me until Kiondo contacted him. Two young Frelimo men then removed my handcuffs after Mateus ordered this. At his behest, they were to take me for breakfast at Namaacha hotel; he warned me not to try escape, as his men had been ordered to shoot me in the legs if I did. The two soldiers escorted me to the hotel, where a waiter offered us a breakfast menu containing only scrambled eggs and sausages. It seemed there was nothing else to offer. I tried a piece of sausage and some egg, but I could not taste anything. One of the Frelimo men gobbled up his meal in no time, then asked if I intended to finish my breakfast. When I replied that I had eaten enough, he drew my plate towards himself and devoured the contents. Comandante Mateus arrived later and ordered his breakfast. The waiters reacted promptly and obediently; I could never work out whether this was because they held him in high esteem, or whether they feared and loathed him. Perhaps all three? As we sat, Mateus warmed to me; he said he had been to Havana, Cuba, for military training; Castro was a great “revolutionary” leader who had achieved much for his country. I listened without offering any comment. Mateus said he returned to Africa from Cuba. His official car, by his own account, was a BMW which he frequently used on shopping trips to Swaziland. “You prefer shopping in Swaziland to Maputo?” I asked, smiling in order to encourage Mateus to talk. “Yes!” he replied, adding that this was because most consumer items were not obtainable in Mozambique. He blamed this on “imperialists” and the chronic shortage of foreign exchange in Mozambique. “It’s a problem, a very big problem,” he said, his pride visibly hurt. “Then Mozambique is not like the Cuba you praise,” I said. Mateus nodded his head as he pushed away his plate with the remnants of his breakfast. Cuba, he said, was already a socialist country; Mozambique would one day be a “truly socialist” country, given the guidance of “our vanguard Frelimo party.” He wiped his mouth with a white cloth he drew from his pocket – the same cloth he had earlier tried to blindfold me with. He moved from topic to topic; my mind was far away, wondering what awaited me in Dar-es-Salaam. Two cars and a Landrover had already arrived at the Namaacha Frelimo camp by the time we returned from breakfast. It was clear I was going to be taken to Maputo by road. One of Mateus’ deputies beckoned to me to claim my personal effects from the table where they were mixed with those of my abductors. This particular officer seemed incapable of reading, or he just didn’t care. He handed me Jo’s passport, saying “take your passport with you.” He knew I was the only Tanzanian around, and might have thought that the first Tanzanian document he spotted was mine. I used the chance to identify my captor and to note some of his personal particulars (if indeed they were true). His name was entered as Malcolm Zhugo and, according to the document, he was a mechanic by profession. Not wanting to raise the suspicion of the Frelimo man, I quickly turned to the visa pages of the passport. Jo had travelled quite extensively: there were several “entry” and “exit” endorsements, mostly for Swaziland, but also of other Southern African states. By having a Tanzanian passport, Malcolm Zhugo enjoyed relative freedom of movement in Commonwealth countries in Africa. I returned Malcolm Zhugo’s passport to the officer and told him my passport was that small black book on the table – my pocket diary containing my personal effects, including my room key and some money. I then pretended I had a sudden stomach ache and asked if I could be taken to the toilet; I needed to destroy several pages of the diary lest I incriminated people still in Tanzania. The toilet was outside the camp’s gate, which perhaps explained why the camp itself was littered with human excrement. Two armed Frelimo soldiers escorted me to a ramshackle latrine made of corrugated iron sheets. Inside, logs were placed on top of the pit, with a small, narrow space left in the middle for the user to position himself. One soldier, his AK-47 ready, stood in front of the latrine, the other behind. They seemed positioned to prevent my possible escape; to my relief, they were less interested in what I did inside the latrine. My room key from the Youth Centre in Mbabane was the first item to find its way down the pit. I was afraid my abductors might use it to gain entry to my room, and remove documents that could be used against me. The next thing to go down the pit was my pocket diary, though only the pages which contained names and details of my contacts in Tanzania. I thought it unwise to dispose of the whole diary, yet I did not want to bring trouble for friends in Tanzania. I tore out the relevant pages chewed them, then spat them into the latrine to ensure nothing could be retrieved. I satisfied myself that the diary now contained only names which could not be connected to me politically. I returned the diary to my pocket and left the latrine. *********** Commandante Mateus arranged us into two cars which had arrived from Maputo. Two plain-clothes men, possibly Tanzanians, hovered around but did not take an active role in the proceedings. I was put into a Landrover positioned between two white Rada cars with radio communication equipment. Again handcuffs were snapped on; four armed soldiers sat around me at the back of the vehicle. Mateus sat in front, adjusting his military cap using the rearview mirror, then signalled the convoy to get moving. We passed many road blocks on the way to Maputo; I worried about security on the road. Those were the days when Renamo, a guerrilla movement opposed to Frelimo’s Marxist rule, had increased its rebel activities along this road, attacking convoys at random, whether of the military variety or otherwise. If that had happened on this day, I would probably have been a victim: unarmed and handcuffed, I would have been helpless in a normal road accident; how much more so in a rebel attack? Somewhere in downtown Maputo we pulled up at what looked to be an ordinary flat. Inside was anything but normal: people, some handcuffed, others not, sat around apparently unaware of when they would be released, if at all. Opposite one of the male rooms I noticed a young woman taking a shower in a group. I was ordered to sit on an empty mattress cover, from where I watched the men in the crowded room sweating profusely. Nearby me sat two young men who had been arrested for their religious activities, both clasping their bibles determinedly; they were not going to enter their graves without their bibles. I thought it rather poignant that someone should suffer so much just for a belief he holds. Frelimo had its own religion – Marxism – and seemed quite content to deny others their religious freedom in the name of Marxism. I wondered just how long it would take Frelimo to lose its own freedom, as they encroached on the freedom of others. Comandante Mateus returned with the two plain-clothes men I had noticed at Namaacha. Having ditched any trace of courtesy and tact, he proceeded to rough-handle me, shouting in Portuguese as he pushed me towards the Landrover that had brought us. It seemed somebody had given him good reason to hate me, and he wasted no time in showing it. I was “intellectually arrogant”, he said, but Machava would knock this arrogance out of me. I wondered what on earth Machava was. The trip in the Landrover gave a foretaste of what it could be like: two soldiers lay me down on the back of the vehicle, pressed me down hard, and covered my face with a hat. The Landrover screeched off and moved fast for some time; then we came to an abrupt halt and the driver cut the engine. I was taken out and ordered to sit down until given further orders. As I looked around, I noticed I was inside a prison compound. I was at Machava maximum security prison. *********** Inside Machava Thursday afternoon, December 7, 1983. I felt weak and dejected as Mateus and his men ordered me to accompany them to the prison offices. In the corridor we passed several prisoners awaiting interrogation, most of them handcuffed with their hands above their heads. One coloured prisoner had dropped asleep, or possibly collapsed from exhaustion, falling in the middle of the corridor. The Frelimo soldiers were unperturbed, scarcely noticing; some kicked him, demanding that he stand up, but none cared to lift him up. The man was perspiring profusely. I was told to sit down on the floor facing my interviewer, a young Frelimo man flanked by two colleagues. The room was bare except for the chair the man sat on and a table containing only a scrap of paper with my particulars, or possibly for the Frelimo man to write on. There was nothing else, not even a pin. He studied me, then asked in English: “Are you Ludovick Mwichaje?” I replied that I wasn’t, and his face was a mixture of bewilderment and anger. “What do you mean?” he asked, frowning. I repeated that that was not my name; he looked at his colleagues, puzzled, then back at the paper. He studied it closer this time, then broke into a triumphant smile: “Your name is misspelt,” he said, and I replied that I was not sure. He demanded I spell my name and, after some hesitation, I asked him whether he did not need to interview Ludovick Mwichaje before speaking to Ludovick Mwijage. I had wasted my time, and he was quite clear: “It’s you we need ,” he said. The Frelimo man took down my personal particulars, including my address in Tanzania and Swaziland. Then, pointing with his pen to a blue prison uniform, he ordered that I change into it as I was now going down to the cell. Since he spoke understandable English, I asked him about my legal status at the prison and whether the Frelimo government had any charges against me. He said I was being detained on the orders of the Tanzanian government. Some Tanzanian officials would soon be coming to speak to me, but he didn’t know when. After changing into the prison uniform, the Frelimo man ordered that I be handcuffed again. I protested, arguing that since I would be in a prison cell there was no purpose in having me handcuffed. The Frelimo man said they had their own modus operandi; besides, he insisted, I was being held in Machava on the express orders of Tanzanian officials representing their government in Maputo. ********* Machava contained about seven blocks which were known to the inmates as “pavilions.” I think it is one of the best fortified prisons in Africa. The high walls surrounding the prison were manned around the clock by a sentry armed with a machine gun. Machava’s “pavilions” contained cells on either side, separated by a large passageway. The cells were overcrowded: in “pavilion” no 7, where I was held, some cells had as many as six prisoners. Prison seemed to be the only nationalised industry in Mozambique that was functioning. Prisoners who were not confined to their cells during the day would cling to the bars of the “pavilion”, to breathe fresh air, and even this was a special privilege. I estimated my cell was about 11ft by 13ft. There was no toilet, not even a bucket to urinate or pass motion; the floor was bare, without any blankets; there was nothing to read, and strict instructions were issued that I should be locked in solitary confinement; I was only allowed to go to the collective toilet; at night the mosquitoes feasted on me, and I could not scare them off because of my handcuffs. My diet consisted of boiled rice and fried fish; sometimes there was simply no lunch or dinner because, as I was told later, there was a food shortage in Mozambique. In the mornings I would get black tea with a doughnut, sometimes nothing at all. Every morning for ten minutes I was allowed out of my cell to pass water and wash my face; but washing my face proved difficult with handcuffs. Lights blazed day and night, their controllers oblivious to the lack of electricity elsewhere in Mozambique. I felt as if I was in a grave, buried alive. ******** This was the second time I had been in detention, the first going back to August 1971 when I was a student teacher at Morogoro. I was detained at Morogoro merely for expressing a political opinion. I had been appointed editor-in-chief of Mhonda college’s newsletter, which, as it turned out, never got off the ground anyway. Basically, the newsletter intended to reflect the thinking of the college community, using articles from students and staff. But an English lecturer had insisted that all articles be censored before publication. I strongly disagreed, setting him and myself on a collision course. When Idi Amin deposed Dr Milton Obote in a Ugandan military coup in 1971, I took the liberty of writing an editorial comment on political developments in Uganda and the effect on neighbouring states. I had studied at secondary school in Uganda and took a keen interest in developments in that country. I held the view that Obote, whom the Tanzanian government chose to support, was his own worst enemy: he initiated a dictatorial trend in Uganda, abolishing opposition parties and declaring himself executive president. His Uganda People’s Congress (UPC) had become the only “legitimate” party; Obote himself, some observers believed, was trying to emulate Tanzania’s style of leadership. So, in my yet unpublished editorial, I argued that Obote had actually allowed Amin to rise to power. After all, it was Obote who appointed Amin Chief of Defence Staff; yet he had the opportunity to give the post to someone better equipped than Amin. The editorial also touched on Nyerere’s frequent condemnation of the new Uganda regime; many students felt Nyerere was doing this merely to deflect attention from his own domestic problems and failures. Though the editorial was never published, government had gotten wind of it; they did not like it. I was roughed up in my dormitory one day by three plain-clothes security men who had arrived in the company of the college principal and the English lecturer who was acting as censor. I was taken to Morogoro for detention, and the college was shut. The student government was dissolved because, in the words of the college authorities, I had “great influence” over it. After being heavily interrogated for several days by the Tanzanian Intelligence Service (TIS), it was decided that I should be charged in a court of law with “common assault and causing actual bodily harm.” With this as the so-called holding charge, investigations into my actual political activities could continue. By now, new allegations started to emerge. Claims were being made by the security services that I had been communicating with Amin, and that at the time of my arrest I had tried to destroy a letter which supported this claim. Elements in the state then tried every trick they could to bolster their claim that I had tried to communicate with Amin. I was now being charged with political activities, not just common assault; bail became harder to get. The case dragged on for many months, until I was able to convince Ndugu Kisesa, then government regional security officer of Morogoro, that I had nothing to do with Amin. He ultimately recommended to the President’s Office that the case be withdrawn, which it was. During the several weeks I spent in detention at that time I was often threatened with my life; my friends and parents were harassed by the security police. I believe I became a marked man, one to be closely watched, ever since then. Even after the case was dismissed, I remained rusticated. It was only in the following academic year that I was conditionally reinstated, and transferred to Monduli College of National Education in Arusha. I lost a whole year of my studies, the sort of price one had to pay then for expressing an opinion that annoyed the Tanzanian government. *********** My immediate neighbour in the 7th pavilion of Machava prison was a Mulatto woman called Renete. She was on Death Row, allegedly for spying for Renamo. She spoke some English and, surprisingly, when I could briefly see her during my 10 minutes for washing and passing water, she was always in good spirits despite the death sentence hanging over her head. She spoke of an Italian boyfriend whom she seemed to have lost touch with since her incarceration. She was short and small, but beautiful. One day, after being let out of her cell for a few minutes to use the toilet and wash, she refused to get back into the cell, demanding a mattress and blanket. Renete was totally determined that she would not enter her cell until her demands had been met. A prison guard tried to push her into the cell but she would not budge; in the end she got her mattress and blanket. I greatly admired her courage; if Renete could be so resolute facing a death sentence, what about me? She became my inspiration. Another foreign prisoner in our pavilion was a British citizen, Finlay Dion Hamilton. He was a director of Manica Freight Services and, according to him, had lived in Mozambique for more than two decades. Frelimo’s “Revolutionary Military Tribunal” had sentenced him to twenty years in prison for allegedly aiding Renamo (an anti-Frelimo group) to blow up a fuel depot in Beira, Mozambique’s second largest town. I saw him on several occasions in the morning when he was allowed out of his cell, and he seemed to be in low spirits. Once the Frelimo guards noticed that we conversed freely in English, he was transferred to pavilion No. 4. Among the other prisoners were Renamo rebels who had accepted the Frelimo government’s offer of amnesty if they surrendered. Instead of receiving amnesty, some were im-prisoned in Machava. One such rebel was a young Zimbabwean man who had worked as a radio technician for Renamo. He claimed he had been trained in radio communications in South Africa. He said he had learnt of the govenment’s amnesty offer from a leaflet he had picked up; he gave himself up and after interrogation was brought to Machava. He believed Frelimo had not honoured its promise. When I left Machava, his fate was still uncertain. ************* On the fifth day of my incarceration in Machava, a prison guard rattled the padlock outside my cell; he called me out. I walked lamely ahead of him towards the prison offices. I had definitely lost weight due to the harsh prison conditions. A young man dressed in a white-sleeved shirt with a Nikon camera dangling over his chest stood next to the prison offices. He ordered me to sit on a stool in front of him. His incisors were sharpened; I thought he might be from Musoma, Julius Nyerere’s home place. The man studied me for a while, then started questioning me in Swahili. “Who are you?” He asked vaguely. “Whom did you send for?” I retorted. He stopped questioning me and instead asked me to pose for pictures. That done, I asked him if he was aware of my prison conditions and demanded to know if I was already serving sentence; I also demanded to know what crime I had committed in Mozambique. He replied that he knew nothing about prison conditions; and even if he did, it was outside his power to do anything about it. His reply sounded very boastful. I understood him; after all, he was not a prison guard at Machava and probably did not understand what I was talking about. His job suggested he was a privileged person, and I had no reason to believe he had ever been in prison, certainly not as a political prisoner. I thus seized the opportunity to warn him that prison was like an infirmary. “You should not think you’re immune from going where you send others,” I told him. Briefly, I was telling him that what was happening to me today could happen to him tomorrow. Then I added, seriously, that I wished I was the last to endure such treatment. He looked at me with disbelief. “Why are you saying all this,” he demanded of me. “Well”, I replied, “just to remind you that what we black Africans live under is like a tinderbox of frustration.” I reminded him that as long as African countries continued to follow one-party political systems, every African was a potential prisoner of conscience if not a refugee. He seemed momentarily stunned, condensing what I had told him. I was returned to my cell, convinced that he had got the message. That evening, December 11, 1983, a miracle happened; a Frelimo guard opened my cell door and commanded that I follow him. In front of the prison offices a group of men dressed in civilian clothes stood conversing in Portuguese. They seemed in jovial mood, slapping each other playfully, laughing and shaking hands frequently. One of them, a short man dressed in a crimplene tailored trouser, held out his hand to greet me; the others watched silently. As we shook hands, I had the sudden feeling that my status was about to change, possibly for the better; this was, after all, the first time since I was incarcerated in Machava that I had shaken hands with a prison official. And the man whose hand I had just shaken seemed to be a senior official; he spoke to the rest of the group with authority. As it later turned out, the man was in fact the head of Machava Prison. He instructed one of his juniors to remove my handcuffs and ordered that my civilian clothes be given back to me. However, the prison official in charge of prisoners was nowhere to be found. The chief of Machava decided that we go anyway, in my prison outfit. I was taken to a waiting Rada car fitted out with radio equipment. In front and behind were two army jeeps, their machine guns pointed at the Rada car. I sat in the back, my hands buried between my thighs to allay any fears that I might try to escape by overpowering my guards. Heavily armed Frelimo men sat on either side of me. The head of Machava sat behind the steering wheel; beside him sat a short man in plain clothes, his face marked with Makonde tribal marks. We moved in a convoy, one military jeep leading, the other trailing us. We moved in silence; nobody cared to tell me where we were going; I did not bother to ask. I had resolved that whatever my fate, I would face it with a smile. The bottom line, as far as I was concerned, was that my suffering was for something I wholly believed in: democratic values and social justice. We pulled up in front of an elegant multi-storey building in downtown Maputo. Opposite it were houses surrounded by a nice garden, from which the Mozambican flag was hoisted. I assumed this was the house of a senior state official. More than a dozen Frelimo soldiers armed with AK-47s stood in front of the multi-storey building. The head of Machava disappeared into the building, leaving his lieutenant and two armed men with me in the car. Minutes later a soldier beckoned us into the building. I was led into a large room on the first floor; it had a thick, expensive carpet, with walls decorated with paintings of various kinds. It was a self-contained double-room. An armed Frelimo soldier sat on a chair facing me; beside him was a table with a telephone. The soldier stood to attention whenever I entered or left the room; he seemed unaware of my status. Before leaving, the head of Machava, speaking in fluent Swahili – he learnt the language in Tanzania when he was a refugee during the liberation war – introduced me to his proxy, the head of Matola Prison. The Matola Prison chief was to stay with me in my new quarters. He too spoke Swahili very well and was de facto commander of the troops deployed at the building. The head of Matola prison told me he was surprised at my sudden change of status. He admitted it was the first time in his career that a prisoner had been brought from prison to a state lodge. The room I was in, he informed me, was where president Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire had slept during his last visit to Mozambique. Having established where I was now being held, I concluded that it was too good to be true. Paradoxically, the Frelimo people seemed not to trust each other, despite their shared hardship and supposed solidarity. Perhaps it is characteristic of guerrillas not to trust each other: for example, the head of Machava kept his opposite number, the chief of Matola prison, in the dark about my name, the reasons for my imprisonment, and indeed the reasons for my transfer from prison to a state lodge. Yet the Matola Prison chief was part of my guard and overall commander of the unit guarding me. Additionally, extra troops were deployed at the lodge without advance warning being given to the Matola prison chief. He later told me that when he was called from Matola Prison, he thought it was to collect a prisoner from Machava Prison who had not first been “processed”, as he termed it, at Matola Prison. He was genuinely astounded that I had been brought directly to a state lodge, and that nobody in authority was prepared to explain why. This situation worked enormously to my advantage: I, the captive, had to explain my ordeal to my uninformed captor. I have never been able to establish the reasons for my sudden transfer from prison to state house: was it the result of my calculated lecture to the official who had taken my photograph, or was it mere coincidence? ************ Life at the state lodge was a far cry from the harsh realities of life in the streets of Maputo. The closet in my room contained perfumed soaps, Russian toothbrushes and toothpaste, electric shavers and expensive after-shave lotions; such items were then hard to come by in Maputo. Staff at the lodge were all dressed in white uniforms and were highly disciplined. A Goan woman, or Portuguese woman of Goan origin, seemed to be in charge of the chefs in the kitchen. Downstairs in the dining-room, four armed soldiers stood to attention every time we had our meals. Even when we had finished eating and I decided to remain seated, the soldiers would remain at attention until I had left. I realised then that African leaders were captives themselves: these soldiers were rehearsing what they were inevitably required to do whenever there was a state visit. My new quarters also had a balcony overlooking the sea; often I sat there with the Matola prison chief after meals or a siesta. Whenever I would move to the balcony a staff member would ask me what I wanted to drink. To my surprise, when I ordered double whisky on the rocks, it was brought promptly; and it was pure Scotch whisky. This contrasted sharply with Machava prison, where prisoners did not even have adequate food; or with the streets of Maputo, where consumer goods were in short supply, if not impossible to obtain. From the comfort of my new quarters, Mozambique seemed to be a country with two divergent economies. ************ Because of his assigned duties, the Matola prison chief slept in a room next to mine. As I settled in at the state lodge, we developed a good understanding of each other. He looked much poorer than his post suggested: on days that he guarded me, he never changed his clothes. Perhaps this was because he had been summoned at short notice for his new duties and had not had time to bring spare clothes. His clothing was virtually worn out: the shirt had patches on the sleeves and collar, and his trousers were patched between the thighs. Despite his shoddy appearance, he was an affable and sociable official. Frequently he praised the kindness of the Swazi people, recalling a trip he had made to Swaziland as part of an advance party for a visit by the late Samora Machel. He said he had enjoyed the pleasure of seeing King Sobhuza, the revered Swazi king who died in 1982. “And all the shops were full of consumer goods,” he kept on saying. His frequent references to Swaziland and its relative economic success suggested that he yearned for political and economic change in his own country. He gave the impression that he was disillusioned with Mozambique’s malfunctioning centrally-planned economy. The Matola Prison chief was anxious to know what had happened to me, and was deeply touched and sympathetic when I told him. He believed that my abduction was known to only a select few top Frelimo officials, because the act itself was a transgression of international law. He wondered if there was anything he could do for me apart from setting me free, which was not possible. I grasped the chance; I asked him if he could mail a note to Mbabane, Swaziland, notifying the UNHCR that I had been abducted. He agreed, and said I should write the note in the toilet in my room and leave it above the cistern, where he would pick it up later. He had access to my room and occasionally used the toilet when we were on the balcony, because of its proximity. Thereafter, I went to the toilet, tore a piece of paper from my pocket diary, which had been returned to me after I left Machava, and wrote a short note for UNHCR in Mbabane. I decided to address it to an official I remembered, for fear that the Mozambicans might be censoring mail destined for abroad and addressed to international organisations. I flushed the toilet to fool the guards into thinking I was using it. After returning to the balcony, the Matola prison chief went to the toilet and retrieved the note. He stayed there a short while, then flushed when he came out. Later, when I asked why I could not give him the note on the balcony since it was only us there, he replied with a smile: “This is Frelimo, where anybody spies on everybody.” ************ Journey to Tanzania Early one morning, on December 16, 1983, a squad of eight Frelimo men in civilian clothes arrived at the state lodge. I could clearly detect their revolvers, hidden under their jackets. The head of Machava prison, dressed in a tailored crimplene suit with a badge of Samora Machel pinned on a lapel, was their commander. This time the convoy of three Rada cars, all fitted out with radio equipment, headed for Mavalane airport, at the air force base. Some civilians, mostly women (possibly wives of Frelimo soldiers), embarked with us on a military aircraft through an opening at the tail end. So far, no one had formally told me where we were going. However, the chief of Matola Prison had informed me the previous night that Samora Machel, on his return to Maputo from a tour of the provinces, had approved my repatriation to Tanzania, as requested. A tall, stout, vicious looking man dressed in camouflage fatigues – I later established he was Mozambique’s head of intelligence – boarded the plane to arrange our seating. He removed me from a window seat to one some distance from the emergency door, probably for security purposes. During the flight the Frelimo men spoke nothing of their mission; I thought this might be due to the presence of women and their children, or possibly because they had been tipped by their seniors that I understood some Portuguese. The women passengers disembarked at Pemba, south of the border town of Mtwara. We lunched there on boiled rice and fried fish; it seemed this was a readily available Mozambican dish; I recalled Machava Prison, where it was fairly common. The rest of the journey to southern Tanzania was short. I remember how some of the Frelimo men kept fingering some US dollar bills, checking for the security line; it seemed most of them had never seen a dollar bill before. Throughout the flight from Maputo to Pemba and onwards I had not been handcuffed. Now, as the military plane began descending, the head of the escort team went to the cockpit; when he returned, he ordered that I should be handcuffed. I immediately realised that I was already in Tanzania, my country. ********** The aircraft touched down on the airfield. A lone fire-fighter, a young man in khaki uniform, stood motionless as he gazed at the taxing plane. The pilot cut the engines and five men came through from the cockpit, pistols in their hands. I recognised the one wearing spectacles as a senior employee of the government-owned Air Tanzania airline; I knew him only as Luvena. Luvena took off my spectacles and blindfolded me; the other two men held me tightly and led me from the plane to a Landrover parked nearby. They laid me back downwards on the back of the Landrover, pressing hard on me. Though I had never met them before, they treated me as if they had a score to settle: they hurled insults at me; I was a “swine”, “traitor”, “bastard”, and common criminal. Whatever derogatory terms they could think of, they used quite generously. The Landrover sped off at terrific speed, like an ambulance transporting a casualty to hospital; it cut several corners before the driver abruptly stopped. The two men who had been pressing me against the floor of the vehicle marched me into a building; again they laid me on my back, blindfolded. An hour later the blindfold was removed; the tiny room contained a small portable fan, which my two guards used to cool themselves. They sat against the only door, which was shut, facing me; the only glass window was sealed with old newspapers, keeping out fresh air and preventing detainees from seeing outside. The walls were bare but for one CCM poster with a picture of Julius Nyerere, fist clenched, urging his subjects not to waste for fear of an impending food crisis in Tanzania. Later, a man I was to get to know as Mlawa entered the room; he ordered me stripped and took my clothes for a through search; I was left in my underpants only. When I inquired from my guards why I was being stripped, one snapped that I should “shut up”. He said if I uttered another word, they would “teach me a lesson”. Out of reach of the fan’s cool breeze, and with the door and only window shut, I began to sweat profusely as I awaited my fate. At about midnight, Mlawa ordered the guards to blindfold me again and take me to a larger room next door for interrogation. I was paraded in only my underwear before the five men, my interrogators, including the man who had blindfolded me on the aircraft, Luvena. I realised for the first time that people can respect institutional authorities only if those authorities respect an individual’s rights; people cease to respect those same authorities when they use their power to erode an individual’s inherent rights. The fact that men from the President’s Office paraded me before them in only my underwear removed any semblance of the belief I once held that such people were noble, aristocratic servants of my land. I believed they did this to political detainees to dehumanise and demoralise them. I was later to establish that I was being held at the offices of the government’s Regional Security officer (RSO). At that time the RSO for Mtwara was a man called Brighton; he was present during my underwear parade. Unfortunately, I failed to establish the identity of the remaining two interrogators. I also quickly noticed that four of my interrogators referred to their fifth colleague, Mlawa, as “chief”, from their headquarters in Dar-es-Salaam. And Mlawa addressed his colleagues with a noticeable measure of authority. He sat at a separate table, which was covered with a green flannel table-cloth, making notes on a writing pad like a magistrate recording court proceedings. In front of him was a black attache case containing a myriad of papers; sometimes he would refer to the papers and make a note. It seemed he had not shaved for more than two days; his tailored black safari jacket was a poor fit and did not match the trousers. He had an expensive Rado wrist watch, which he looked at frequently; his Italian shoes also looked expensive; and he had a solar calculator which he had trouble operating. On the wall above Mlawa hung a picture of Julius Nyerere in a safari jacket, smiling. I could not reconcile his smile with the behaviour of his men, parading me around almost naked and handcuffed. This contrast seemed to vindicate a saying of my community: “It is usually people of fabulous beauty who stink in the mouth”. Rolled up manilla cards were plastered on the rest of the walls, apparently to conceal what was written from the captive’s eyes. a large air-conditioner built into the wall frequently malfunctioned; the window curtains were usually drawn; and the power often failed. ************ Interrogation When God shuts the door, he opens a window. One thing that worked immensely to my advantage was that Mlawa, my chief interrogator, was scarcely literate. Perhaps it was this that made him overzealous; and his over-enthusiasm might explain his rapid rise to the upper echelons of the Tanzanian Intelligence Service, over the heads of his better educated colleagues. I later established that the man had built himself a large house by Tanzanian standards, one that a medical doctor or university lecturer could only dream of, no matter how hard he worked. With so much to lose if the system changed, Mlawa had a vested interest in ruthlessly flushing out dissenting elements. Mlawa often asked unintelligible questions during interrogation; some of his better educated juniors posed sharper questions. He blindly gave away his own organisation’s sources, as well as names of operatives who had gathered some of the information before him. He was convinced that what his organisation claimed to know about our political activities was true, and that I should accept this as the case and tell more. He consequently closed all avenues of obtaining anything new from me, and would order that the two police guards assault me if he thought I was being “uncooperative”. This lack of “cooperation” was to implicate innocent people; people whom the intelligence service perceived as government opponents. Included among these unfortunates were Dr Vedastus Kyaruzi, a former Secretary General of the Commonwealth Health Secretariat; an Assistant Commissioner of Police called Swebe, who was then Staff Officer at the Ministry of Home Affairs; a prominent Nairobi-based Tanzanian herbalist known as Mushobozi; and many others whom I knew nothing about, let alone shared political views with. Despite being forced to implicate people I did not even know, Mlawa’s “leading questions” served a useful purpose: they betrayed his own informers and colleagues. For example, he would ask me a question on a particular subject. To find out how much he knew about the subject, I would initially hesitate, then simply reply that I knew nothing. This would prompt him to shout angrily that I had been heard saying certain things. His “You were heard saying” replies eventually served to remind me whom I had actually talked with about that subject; this helped me form my own defence, given that I had obtained some idea of how much they knew of our activities. This strategy worked for me. Mlawa’s “leading questions” helped me to identify people who had spied on us in Tanzania and in exile. A leading figure in this respect was Colonel Ahmed Mkindi. Not only did Mkindi report back on activities he thought one was involved in, he also implicated innocent people who had nothing at all to do with our political activities. Mkindi’s favourite tactic was entrapment: presenting himself as one being persecuted by the system. I remember that he had come to see me in Swaziland around mid-April, 1983, a few weeks after the Tanzanian government had sealed off its eight borders in order to catch “economic saboteurs”. The real purpose, of course, was to prevent perceived government opponents from fleeing the country, and also to manufacture a scapegoat for Tanzania’s ailing economy: the government had already established, from interrogating several dissidents it had arrested in January that year, that the main cause of growing dissent was economic hardship and corruption. Mkindi had approached me in an agitated mood that day: he implied that his own brother had been arrested in Arusha in possession of one US dollar, during the so-called corruption purge. We agreed that it was terribly unfair to arrest and detain a citizen for possessing a US dollar, while the real thieves in the government hierarchy who siphoned off hoards of money and deposited it in foreign banks were walking scot-free. Mkindi then asked me if I knew anyone in the police in Dar-es-salaam whom he could approach about his brother’s unfair detention. In good faith, I recommended that he speak to Swebe, whom I said I had known as an impartial law enforcer when he was based in Kagera region as a Regional Staff Officer. I had recommended Swebe to Mkindi believing that, in the pursuit of justice, Swebe would help him. Instead, Mkindi had listed Swebe as a government opponent; during my interrogation I was being forced to implicate Swebe. Nestor Rweyemamu, a former athlete and Regional Commercial and Industrial Officer in Arusha, was another man whose innocence I tried to defend. Mkindi had told me that he (Mkindi) wanted to go into business full-time, because he was becoming disillusioned with his employer – the government. He claimed that each time he tried to get a business licence he was forced to walk a bureaucratic minefield; consequently he could not get his import-export business going. Thus he wanted to know if I knew anyone in commerce who could show him how best to obtain his licence. I replied, quite forthrightly, that if a senior diplomat based in Harare had no contacts in commerce, it was ridiculous to expect a Tanzanian refugee in Swaziland to have such contacts. He pleaded with me, offering the excuse that his long absence from Tanzania had put him out of touch with people at home. I mentioned the name of Nestor Rweyemamu, unaware that I was being recorded. I told Mkindi I was unsure if Rweyemamu could help, and that I didn’t know where he had been transferred to. Moreover, I said this was a simple matter to worry about, unlike someone unfairly imprisoned for possessing a US dollar. I had asked him to just forget about the business licence. During my interrogation Rweyemamu’s name cropped up, in the context of what I had discussed with Mkindi. This clearly gave away Mlawa’s source. Another rude shock came in the name of Yahya Hussein, the so-called Tanzanian astrologer who had invited me to his room and paid for my accommodation the day I arrived in Mbabane. My telex message, Amos Chiwele’s letter and my air ticket cover, all of which disappeared from my bag in Hussein’s room, lay open in front of Mlawa and his men. Mlawa also had information on the conversation Hussein and I had had. As for Dr Kyaruzi, I was reported to have been seen entering his clinic in Bukoba before I took flight; Mlawa claimed that I had delayed there too long to have just gone for medication. When I denied I knew the doctor, Mlawa stood up in a fit of hurt pride and shouted that I had been seen in Swaziland “grieving” after being told that Kyaruzi’s wife had died. He also claimed that I was heard to remark that the doctor’s wife had been ill for some time – and indeed she had been ill for a while. Then Mlawa fired his question: Why would I grieve for someone I did not know? And why did I remark that Kyaruzi’s wife had been ill for some time if I did not know the doctor? Once again this could be traced to a conversation between Yahya Hussein and myself. Indeed, it was Hussein who gave me news of the death of Dr. Kyaruzi’s wife. Mlawa was also given to fabricate information in order to intimidate or perhaps to create the impression he knew a lot. One such claim dated back to December 1982 when, according to my interrogators, myself and certain unnamed people were “heard” talking about issues that could “endanger” the life of the former party chairman, Julius Nyerere. Yet, if there was any truth to that, Mlawa could not say why we were not apprehended immediately, especially since what we were supposed to have discussed was extremely serious. Given the arbitrary powers of detention vested in the intelligence service, it is absurd to believe we would not have been arrested there and then. Mlawa had his men also torture me when I was “uncooperative”: they would tighten my handcuffs and refuse to allow me to wash for up to a week. On one occasion they wanted me to implicate the prominent Nairobi-based Tanzanian herbalist Mushobozi. Mlawa claimed that Mushobozi had been seen driving me to the offices of the then Kenyan Vice President, Mwai Kibaki, and that he had been seen handing me a huge envelope, presumably containing money. In short, Mushobozi stood accused of supplying money for furthering dissident activities in Tanzania. Of all the people mentioned during my first three weeks of interrogation at Mtwara, Mushobozi was the most puzzling. I had never seen the man nor heard of him before my abduction; nobody had even mentioned his name to me before. Where his name came from and why the Tanzanian Intelligence Service seemed so keen to implicate him I will never know. But after a week of torture, with my left arm already festering from the tightened handcuffs, I gave in and implicated him. I now admitted that the envelope Mushobozi was supposed to have handed me did indeed contain money to sponsor dissident activities. It was a nightmare that was to live with me, perhaps forever. Mlawa seemed pleased that day; he allowed that I be taken blindfolded to the bathroom for a shower, the first since my abduction. Guards, their pistols pointing at me, watched as I bathed. I was also given medicine for my festering arm wound, and my handcuffs were later loosened. “I will order them to treat you better if you keep cooperating like this,” Mlawa said. Later he boasted that his men operated in Nairobi as they did in Dar-es-Salaam, apparently with a free hand, and that they would be going for Mushobozi at once. My “fellow traitor”, as Mlawa termed Mushobozi, would be joining me at any time. Poor Mushobozi – I didn’t even know his first name. Two weeks later, after I had been transferred to Dar-es-Salaam, Mlawa returned looking visibly annoyed. “Mushobozi’s house was searched,” he told me in an agitated mood, adding that nothing had been found to incriminate him. If this was true, I wondered how the Tanzanian security police could enter another state unless they were working closely with their colleagues there – in this case, the Kenyan special branch. Mlawa repeatedly asked me in a frustrated tone why no exhibits had been found on Mushobozi. I wanted to tell him that I had implicated an innocent man because I was under duress; I decided against that, not wanting to endure another torture session. Instead, I suppressed my sense of guilt and told Mlawa that perhaps Mushobozi had been smart enough to cover his trail. Had Mlawa been an intelligent man in search of the truth, rather than trying to force acceptance of what he wanted, he would have concluded from my face that it was untrue Mushobozi had been involved in any political activity. Instead, Mlawa kept on saying that Mushobozi “is using you… people”. Mlawa then rattled off some speculative talk that Mushobozi was one of the principal figures opposed to Nyerere’s Ujamaa system, and that he was using us as “loudspeakers” for his paymasters in the CIA and other anti-socialist forces. I listened and watched as he lapsed into an abyss of hypothesis and false assumptions. “We will get the bastard,” Mlawa said. I prayed they didn’t. It was nightmarish for me to think I had implicated an innocent person I had never even seen or heard of before. I could not even describe his appearance: during interrogation Mlawa would describe him and I would simply reply “exactly” or “sure” to the description. It was an unfortunate incident that I will have to live with all my life. Later, after my release and escape, while I was living in Portugal, I named my son Mushobozi, after the man I was forced to implicate in a serious case. My son was born in Swaziland while I was in detention. It was now three weeks since I had arrived at Mtwara from Mozambique and Mlawa had concluded that the initial interrogation was over. “I am trying to beat the deadline,” he said sardonically. But the nightmare was not yet over; conditions of my detention remained harsh and I had no outside contact. Finally, Mlawa brought me a sixty-page statement, urging me to sign it without even reading the contents. Even if I had signed, it would have made no difference since the entire statement had been extracted from me under duress and nearly all of it was false. Nevertheless, I had assumed that when the statement was presented to senior officials in the Ikulu (State House), they would read it thoroughly and evaluate it. I strongly believed that because the statement showed I had said “yes” to everything, State House officials would be compelled to raise some doubts. I expected they would send an evaluator, a better educated person than Mlawa, to come and talk to me, without using coercion or intimidation. The idea, I speculated, would be to try and establish the truth. It was at that hoped-for moment that I intended to tell the senior authorities exactly what had happened. But to my complete surprise, nobody else ever came to interview me again. This meant that my statement had not been properly evaluated at the Ikulu; or if it had, they clearly took it to be the truth. Mlawa came to see me several days after I had been transferred to Dar-es-Salaam from Mtwara, to extract more confessions using his familiar cowboy tactics. Throughout my captivity I wondered how many more victims of Nyerere’s regime had been forced to sign statements obtained under duress and through physical torture. I wondered then if anybody would put together a book describing their plight, in order to give the world community a glimpse of human rights’ abuses under Nyerere’s leadership. ************* Journey to Dar-es-Salaam Around midnight, December 27, 1983, I heard strange movements outside my cell; the movements of people, security personnel and cars. They seemed to be …
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